The Day I Died

The Day I Died

1 chapter / 1115 words

Approximately 6 minutes to read

Description:

**WARNING** Discusses death, suicide, and depression. Not in graphic detail though.

The Day I Died chronicles the events leading up to one man's choice to end it all. Was it worth it? Wasn't it? It's up to you to decide.

Comments(4)

Gothic_girls133

over 3 years ago NoOne said:

Wow. I'm actually speechless. I would like a little more details though..Like why did he get fired? I loved this though. Its a crazy story honestly. In a good way though. So much is happening and as I read it my jaw dropped slightly. Great job. A lot of emotions in this. I feel bad for the wife though because how is she going to support the kids. :/

20130620_175801

almost 4 years ago Mollie Bourne said:

I love the beginning (if I spelled that wrong I appologize) The way she speaks it makes it seem like it was the guy's fault. I mean it was cause of the suicide thing and all, but she didn't really care. Also the way you wrote it made it seem like even after death the speaker had crappy self-esteem.

Summer and botanic gardens 111

almost 4 years ago Jessa Green said:

With all the comments on needing more detail, I'm considering going back and adding some of the details I thought of but didn't add. I was originally afraid that if I added all the details it would get too depressing or too bothersome to read. I think now I'll just go through and pick some more scenes to elaborate on. :) Thank you very much for your comment!

Color,pastel,shadows-fc4c7e5376f4b6e1a5a532ffcadbc7af_h

almost 4 years ago Marlin said:

Don't think of me as a heartless person, but the beginning was actually funny. Well, no, not funny, that's the wrong word. It just made fun of our society in a sarcastical manner... We don't care if a human life has just ended, we're just angry about the train being late. That's so true, and so sad, and I like that you picked up on such a detail.

Anyways, I thought this piece was good. Very real, which I appreciate. Although, you kind of started out all detailed, and then it suddenly felt a bit rushed, like you lost interest. I don't know what it was to let out the details, but I think it would have been stronger if you hadn't rushed over what had happened for example at the station, or the excrutiating firing speech. If you put in even more detail, this could become positively painful to read, but it'd make this piece also a lot stronger, in my opinion.

Reviews(4)

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almost 4 years ago Realexis said:

I may be sick but I laughed, not because I'm not empathetic, but because its so brazenly truthful, it was perfectly honest. I liked it and your character, your story was simple and direct, I enjoyed it, I only recommend that you give more detail, maybe even use repetition as a tool to build tension, just a thought. All in all, very good work.

Coosacrest

almost 4 years ago Seth Littlewolf said:

This was... a different experience. You gave insight to the world of those of the humans that are suicidal, and interestingly enough, made it easy to understand what the particular character was going through. Through a complex plot, and an interesting straightforward story, I believe we will all learn from this in one way or another.

Keep up the good work, Jess.