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Approximately about 3 hours to read
(complete) In the midst of his grieving, a new psychologist joins Daniel Phillip's office; with him comes a patient unlike any he's ever dealt with before and Dan soon finds he must face himself before he can move forward. *editing again*
over 4 years ago Lindsey Blais said:
It's really interesting, this developing relationship with Ash and the Phillips. I really like how she's becoming their new make-shift daughter, almost. I found the part about Lindsay and Weston to be really foreboding, though. The part with Lindsay and Ash was hysterical!
One quick question; isn't it a tad unprofessional for Weston to be calling Ash a brat if he's her psychologist? I didn't really get the feeling it was done in jest, so that part made it a tad unbelievable for me, but the rest was on-point as usual. :)
over 4 years ago Lucy Shifflett said:
You have great character development and aside from a few choppy sentences, this was really great :) Keep up the good work!
I read Teacher of the Year today. I like how it focused on Elaine and her work, but I'm a little confused about her relationship with Ash. I know she's a student, but did Elaine kill her father? And what about Lindsay Roland lying about her suicidal tendencies? Hmm...very interesting.
Your humor was on point, as always. I love when Dan describes Elaine as knocking around in his brain and finishes with, "Would it kill her to knock?" Genius! :)
Sorry it took so long! Work and finals are bleeding me dry!!
Chapter five was intense. I like how you have Lindsay's dream described, and then Dan's breakdown. Your use of alliteration was really strong in this chapter, and your humor is, as always, on point. Great chapter, I can't wait to find out where you're going with this! :)
over 4 years ago Sayjay said:
The piece was actually very well developed; while the characters interacted with slightly stuttered actions, the characters were all well-developed. The flashbacks were useful, although you may want to try using more foreshadowing to keep up the intrigue C:
almost 5 years ago Rachel W ❤ said:
Don't use hazel eyes here. Peering indicates that he is looking at something so just eliminate his hazel eyes.
The couple, unfortunately, saw Dan before he could see them. It must have been difficult to miss the sight of him, just as Dan couldn't miss sight of them, the only two sitting in the waiting room.
I’m confused here. Why is it unfortunate? And you said before that when he was peering into the room that he saw them. So, he saw them first, right?
He had been thinking of doing so previously because his job had begun to tire and frustrate him; as such he would do anything he could that he thought had the chance of improving his attitude towards work. He wished he had realized that it would have pained him more than single person sessions, but after reviving his own marriage from the depths that neared divorce, he became a little arrogant on the subject.
I feel like this is a little awkward so maybe rephrase it? Also, it’s he had become
Still, this was a nice piece and I look forward to reading more when I get the chance to. Nice job:)