1 chapter / 146 words

Approximately less than a minute to read


I know the rhythm is kinda off. But that was me trying to put across the out-of-breath feeling the speaker has. I hope it worked..haha


Writing, Romance, Poetry


Alex rider and his american partner

over 5 years ago Hermione said:

Wow!!! I love the images that you give the reader! And the metaphors that you used when describing things!'Rose petals on silk', 'A lioness and her prey'! It's all so smooth, and runs well, and it just sent shivers up my spine...well, it was either that or the ceiling fan spinning round and round in my living room :)


almost 6 years ago Megan M. said:

Wow! Very powerful poem! I thought you did a good job portraying emotions through your writing...Wonderful job!

Steve pics 619

almost 6 years ago Birdy said:

This is great. I love the imagery through out.


almost 6 years ago Star said:

This is very powerful. I love the imagery in this poem. You really portrayed the feeling well. I like it alot.



about 3 years ago Avgerinos said:

A very nice poem. You do move your attention from one item tot he next a lot. I can see that you like to describe appearances and feelings. This is good but you have to make sure that you keep the scene focused. Do you want to have the readers focused on the people or on the drapes? I know it might sound silly but thats the two things that popped into my mind.



almost 6 years ago Heather Rose said:

I always read poems and I don't usually find good ones. But yours just blew my mind. It was beautifully written. I loved it, great job! :)