The Circle of Animalis

The Circle of Animalis

5 chapters / 1510 words

Approximately 8 minutes to read

Genres:

Fantasy, Novel, Suspense

Comments(14)

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about 5 years ago M.H. said:

I have to admit, I'm already looking for the access key. *laughs* Well done so far! Very clever concept indeed, and well worth the read. I love the idea of mutations; it's a favorite of mine, and it's difficult for me to resist any story like this. The names of your characters are fantastic, and I want to know so much more about the Circle. I would be careful, though, of which tense you're in. You switched to present tense for a while, and then switched back. It was sort of strange. Also, you started a lot of your sentences the same way. Try reading the piece aloud to see what flows well and what sounds kind of awkward. Other than that, though, excellent work! I look forward to seeing more. :)

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about 5 years ago Tobi Fabian said:

You have a great start on this! The story is well written, and I'm excited to see where you take this. My only word of criticism is this: look through chapters 3 and 4 again. You have a few grammatical mistakes and some weird sentences that need to be restructured. Also, you go from past to present tense at the end of chapter 2, which is a little weird to read.

Other than that, really nice job!

TOF

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almost 6 years ago Gabriella C.G. said:

Very nice structure and concept! It was also intriguing. All I can say is...this was EPIC! :P

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almost 6 years ago A. E. Davis said:

I read the first two chapters and I definitely like where this is going! Everyone else brought up the occasional spelling/grammar errors, so there's no need for me to describe that in depth.

The plotline is intriguing and I love where this is going. Lysander's a really cool name and I really like his character so far. Way to go, I'll be back to finish it soon!

Reviews(2)

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almost 7 years ago James Fincher said:

I would write a long, in-depth review, but honestly, everyone else's comments and reviews echo my thoughts. I like the plot, it's very mysterious, but there are some spelling errors and grammar things here and there that would be very easy to fix. You just need to read over the story out loud, and you'll catch them all with ease.

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almost 7 years ago Rachel Lewis said:

I'm not sure I understand everything yet but it's more in a mysterious way than you not being clear. I would definitely reread and check for errors, as his name was once spelled with an "I" and later an "L." Good idea, not cliche, not too repetitive, though I was kind of sick of hearing about her hair by the last chapter. Also the description of the boy was confusing, when you said his eyes were darker than his hair but brighter? I would make that clearer. Other than that, it's just fine. Keep writing! Can't wait to see what it turns in to.