The Year of the Bear

The Year of the Bear

1 chapter / 995 words

Approximately 5 minutes to read

Description:

A story I wrote for homework.

Comments

There aren't any comments just yet. You should be the first to .

Reviews(1)

Color,pastel,shadows-fc4c7e5376f4b6e1a5a532ffcadbc7af_h

almost 4 years ago Marlin said:

You seem to get words that sound the same, but are not spelt the same, mixed up every now and then. Once, you used "it's" instead of "its", the same with "then" and "than" as well as "to" and "too". I'm sorry I can't edit more thoroughly, but the layout of Figment makes editing kind of hard...

Otherwise, this was a solid story. But somehow, it didn't feel very remarkable. It did not stand out through excellent use of vocabulary, experimental sentence structure or a profound message. It doesn't mean your story is bad, it just seems a bit random and un-special (:P). You just tell an event, not very emotionally or as though it has some greater meaning for the main character, and it's all well told, but it seems to just wash over me and nothing lingers.

Maybe that's just a matter of taste, though. Maybe somebody else will absolutely love this story. Maybe it's just because I'm not really into this whole cavemen thing...