Pinky Swear

Pinky Swear

3 chapters / 1074 words

Approximately 5 minutes to read

Description:

READ FIRST PLEASE. Goal of 200 hearts. :) Comment anything you have to say please!
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Owen and Delilah have been best friends since they met over a 63 pack of Crayolas in Mrs. Hare's kindergarten class. Now, as their senior year of high school approaches, it comes time for them to decide what's more important: maintaining a life-long friendship or chasing their dreams.

Could the two really be the same thing?

Genres:

Writing, Romance, Novel

Comments(29)

Watercolor path and light in red black 6-22-12

almost 5 years ago Emily Brennan said:

I really liked this. The only part that confused me was the timeline in chapter 2. I thought Delilah was driving by, but then Owen was shouting at her? Maybe I just missed something. That aside, it definitely left me wanting more. Well done.

Image 5

almost 5 years ago Literature Lover said:

This was a really cute story and I'd love to read more. Great job!

2012-12-27 18.48.42-1

almost 5 years ago townie said:

I LOVE this!! I can definitely see your own unique style in the story. It was so easy to read and had wonderful flow to it. I also enjoyed your settings like the apple tree and the milk house because I grew up on a farm and can relate. Once this is finished and published, let me know because you have a waiting customer already. :)

Dscf0599[1]

almost 5 years ago Kathryn Storm said:

MORE!MORE!MORE!MORE! I love this, but I need to find out what happens! Please let me know when you write more! I love it!

Reviews(6)

Forget-me-not-flower-blue (6)

almost 5 years ago Emily Olson said:

I find it interesting how they are the total opposite of each other, that makes them go so well together.

Delilah is described well. She's rebellious and willing to speak her mind. Owen however is not described as much, although he is the opposite of Delilah so that in itself is a description. I would like to know more about him though as a character, his emotions, what makes him himself.

Also, when someone talks, that is a new paragraph. After they talk, enter again. This is like a dialogue rule.

Made up example:

The light bulbs twinkled above the couple dancing in the center of the room.

"I love you," Jenny said quietly to Hammond.

Hammond smiled and stroked her hair.

(Just an example I made up to get my point across)

So, I think this story is sweet and will look forward to reading more, should you continue. :)

Hello i am also faye

almost 6 years ago Kara Rivers (Carrion Pigeon) said:

Chapter One

Nice opening sentence, although I feel that titleing this "Introductions," could be more subtle. "and her toenails always matched." Matched her fingernails? Matched each other? "People asked her if she dyed it, and she didn't." But she didn't would be less confusing. Wait, she's "refreshingly calm" now? Wasn't she wild a minute ago? "That's not to say that Owen was boring, or quiet even." Even quiet? That last bit sounds a little awkward to me. "Picnicing" should be picnicking. The parts about what Owen notices about her are adorable, very nicely done. The t-shirt thing is kind of cute too, but it looks like Owen might be showing off a bit. Could we have a bit more on his motives here? Is he really just being nice, or is he also after an excuse to look buff and tan? If I'm completely misinterpreting this, you can ignore it. The rest of this chapter is very nice, although it seems like Delilah might be jumping the gun a little here. That might just be her personality though.

Chapter Two

This chapter title I like, and with the change in tense, it may be better to just make the first chapter a prologue so as not to confuse people. The little opener here sounds like reading a script scene, which genuinely confused me. I'd recommend taking this opener out altogether as I feel it breaks up the wonderful flow of the story that you've set up so far. Instead of telling us what's going on, show us. Don't have a narrator say that Delilah is excitied for school and going into serior year, have her tell us, "I can't wait for senior year!" Or something like that. It makes the reader feel much more a part of the story instead of just an onlooker. Nice description, it really tells us about how Owen feels not only about her, but about how great their last summer is going. Okay, at this point I'm not liking Delilah so much. She is stringing along poor Owen for years and years. It's okay being friends, but either be with the guy or at least don't hold his hand. I feel like knowing her motives more in depth at this point would be really helpful, as well as how much she knows about Owen's affection for her. Those last statements are well done, showing the less invincible side of Delilah and allowing Owen to feel like he's got to protect her.

Chapter Three

Title seems too informal for me, but that might just be my preference. Wonderful opening paragraph, it really grabs a reader and makes them love Owen's character all the more. His anger makes us really relate to him all the more, beautifully done. "Owen spat the words at her.." Owen HAD spat the words at her. "a simple farm boy like him." Farmboy is one word. I like Owen's self control and caring, it really gives a good contrast to Delilah's apparent insensitivity. "so as not to awaken his parents." It's nighttime now? Could you tell us that please? I like Owen's snapping after all these years and his pent up frustration.

Chapter Four and Wrap-Up

I like Owen's determination in his fractured state. Heck, I just love Owen in general. You've done a fantastic job endearing us to his character. This usually is not my genre, but you had me interested and involved (even if I don't particuarly care for Delilah, but maybe, after reading all this, you intended that?) Anyway, your imagery and emotion are both wonderful, and I was only so nit-picky because I genuinely think that this could go great places and be even better. I'm glad to have read this, and hope you aren't too irriated at my somewhat nasty reviewing. This really leaves us on a cliffhanger however, so I can't do too much of a wrap-up here. Overall, I enjoyed it very much. ~Your friend, Kara