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Approximately 3 minutes to read
^_^ HEART MY CONTEST ENTRY!!!
Sometimes there are VOICES that tell us things we shouldn't want to hear--VOICES that tell us evil thoughts.
Entry for Seventeen Magazine Fiction Contest
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over 4 years ago Megan Caldwell said:
I have goosebumps because of this! It really shows how our doubts and inscurities can get in the way of our own happiness. This story is wonderful and eye opening. wonderful job!
almost 5 years ago Kandace Lynn said:
I love this! It has such a beautiful message and it really leaves you thinking. :) You have a very inspirational piece here and your character's way of narrating is marvelous. I think it's so good, you should continue it and somehow find a way for her to get that kiss. It would make an amazing novel. (: Great, great job!
almost 5 years ago Isadora said:
That.....was so amazing...omg I almost cried ://
about 5 years ago cassidy said:
over 5 years ago Catherine the Lovely said:
this is pretty good! You might want to explain more about her anorexia or dying. I'd like more detail. You still have about 25 words left. Make the most of them. also, when you said "I didn't kiss him because i was too fat or ugly" make that sentence w/a not before the because: "I didn't kiss him not because I was ..." I think that that was what you were trying to say and it sounds smoother that way. i like how you capitalized HER or SHE. It added emphasis. I'd like to know how old she is and how tall just to get an idea of exactly how skinny she looks. If she was 4 foot 11, it isn't that bad, but if she's 5 foot 6 or something, it makes her a stick and adds to the total possibility of dying. THe very last sentence is powerful, but a little bit lacking. Add more impact into it and make it seem more angry from the girl's perspective. That's all I have to say! Good Work.