Last breath

Last breath

2 chapters / 1011 words

Approximately 5 minutes to read

Description:

Last breath started as a poem, ended as a action sci-fi. The world as we know it is gone. It ended in “the last war”. Now it is only pieces left, or so it seems. Humanity are soon to be gone and new races will rule the new world. But who will become the superior race? We follow a young new new Yorker as she set out on a journey in a world of chaos and ruins where the dangers are many and unknown. What have happened to the world? Who will become the next superior race? Or is this really the end off everything?

Comments(1)

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over 3 years ago The Hellmate said:

Thanks for a great review Sarina! Inspired by your review, I have now added the beginning of the first chapter for you and others to read. And yes, there is a lot of grammatical errors I’m afraid, It’s my speciality I think...I have to see if I can get someone (not me obviously) to correct them for me he, he. Good reading and thanks again!

Ø.L.A

Reviews(1)

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over 3 years ago Sarina Brandt said:

I really appreciated the drama of the piece. Using vaaried sentence structure is a good way to keep a reader excited. You should definitely expand on the idea and add more chapters! There were quite a few basic grammatical errors, but with a little editing that would be out of the way. It can be distracting, but at the same time, some of the most creative minds have the same trouble - that's why there are editors! I really like the basic idea, but I think it would be good if you could give a little exposition and create a real plotline with it. The idea is original, so I encourage you to run with it and write everything that you can. I think that the story could be very appealing as a novel. Keep writing! Cheers