Darkness

Darkness

3 chapters / 3916 words

Approximately 20 minutes to read

Description:

It is in progress. I'm working on Chapter 3 now, but it is on its first paragraphs and has not gone through any editing yet.
Darkness recalls the story of a man who is living in a post-apocalyptic world, only surviving by the skin of his teeth and the ability to kill demons with his trusty guns.
Cover by http://figment.com/users/76943, Samantha Deemer.

Comments(9)

Tim_burtons_alice_in_wonderland_conceptart_r5ehr

over 5 years ago Laura said:

Dude, that was creepy...but very, very good :)

Skysailing

almost 6 years ago Anon. said:

Gosh, this is very creepy. I love the main character and how action packed this is. I usually write in a dude's perspective so this gave me a lot of helpful insight. This whole idea that you have came up with is very impressive and you have have not done it any injustice with your writing skills. You are very talented. Nice work!

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almost 6 years ago Carmen Lopez said:

This is very good. You have very good descriptions. Very good job!

Photo on 2011-10-27 at 16.35

almost 6 years ago Maya Frank said:

Wow this is such a good start! You already have me hooked :) Wow really creepy and really well written. keep it up!

Reviews(3)

Dreaming

almost 6 years ago Nichole flatz said:

Spectacular.

The only thing I wondered about was the dialogue in chapter two at the end, they both spoke as if from different time periods. Almost a middle earth kind of feel to it. For me this made it all the more eery and supernatural feeling though I dont know if that's the feeling you are going for, if not then I suggest picking a time period and molding your dialogue around that time's "feel" but if you did mean it to feel that way, then you've done your job to perfection. Well done. Your skill has earned you a follower and an admirer of your work :) good luck

Ok pic of me

almost 6 years ago Anya Kimlin said:

You are very good at description and the plot despite having a big reason I wouldn't usually read it carried me to the end. The tension was good and I was curious as to what was going on.

Slight negative was the paragraphs watch and try not to start ones close together with the same words.

The biggest thing I struggle with stories like this is not knowing about the character, no name, no idea of who they are or why they are doing what they are doing. This is a style issue and I am a person who will skip ahead to find the character's name if it hasn't appeared in the first page.

It made it confusing in places because I wasn't sure what was going on or why.

It wouldn't take much but it is a personal preference.

Sorry this took so long. Small children at home saw to a variety of emergencies. Keep going your ability to creep out and carry suspense is very good,. Anya xxx