Damn, Daft Dylan: A HND story

Damn, Daft Dylan: A HND story

1 chapter / 1280 words

Approximately 6 minutes to read

Description:

An entry into the The List contest. Part 1 of The Heart Necklace Dilemma series. Leia may still be in love with Dylan, but Thom is her savior on the first day of Senior year. And what's a good high school story without a little drama?

Comments(6)

Country girls

almost 6 years ago Bree<3 said:

I thought she was going to kiss the other dude when she got a cm away from his face... I love the story though it was the best..

20140914_173731

almost 7 years ago Jessica Rose Bliliuos said:

I completely agree with Bailey M. Kelsey! i loved it!

Kendra1

almost 7 years ago Kenzie Zartmann said:

Daleks! Nerdfighters! Ah, so many awesome references. I was more sympathetic with Dylan, but I guess that's cause I'm a goober. I'm happy that Leia isn't pausing for a dude. Awesome story!

Photo 4

almost 7 years ago Kelly Lucas said:

thanks! I'm actually doing a series of shorts with these characters. They go to the same high school at Bailey Kelsey's characters, too!

Reviews(1)

L_f5f0b57b85023e0857a20ec4b9874f49

almost 7 years ago Pete Riley said:

Though I did like this, the main characters' dialogue doesn't sound totally believable to me. She breaks into fits so easily... I think that hurts the story here.

If, when he broke up wit her the reader would have gotten a deeper glimpse into her head and emotions then perhaps a better connection would be made.

As it stands now though, I don't feel for her because I know nothing of her outside of this relationship. Why not talk a little about her history, her like and outlook on the world around her. A reader should feel a connection to at least some of the characters and I just didn't get that here. The writing itself however. That was nice, you painted a picture. That's always a plus. I do like this but think it has much more potential.