That Time I (Didn't) Fall

That Time I (Didn't) Fall

1 chapter / 1494 words

Approximately 7 minutes to read

Description:

In which I, Annie, show up to a party getting dragged in like a three year old with abandonment issues and leave the same party making out with a rather decent looking guy.
(Note: if there wasn't a 1500 word limit for contest, I would have written a longer story)

Comments(9)

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almost 6 years ago Elaine Harlington said:

You really conveyed the real characters through this piece. It was a humorous yet engaging piece.

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over 6 years ago Ginny Weasley-Potter said:

Thank you for writing this! I liked it! Keep writing!

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over 6 years ago NotAnna said:

LOVE IT! :)

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almost 7 years ago Matthew Barriena said:

Not the romantic ending I was expecting but okay... still nice and I hope that after the contest you remove the tag, polish this down and add some more.

Reviews(1)

Wolf howling

almost 7 years ago Åɳɳḭε said:

First of all, I believe that everything about this (except the end) completely captured Annie-ness. Well, at least my kind anyway. Hilarious story, loved your MC, really enjoyed it. I, for one, am really similar I think. Yep, I'm always the one my friends have to drag to the parties, and then I go find a quiet corner to just watch people and stuff. And I'm also somewhat of a nerd. So that made me love this story even more,

Just some very minor points:

"night last, before all" I don't think that commma's necessary

"I’m Annie, Annie…ohmygod, you’re Dean?" maybe add a "wait" before the ohmygod?

I thought the ending was rather abrupt... because your MC seemed like a very reserved character who doesn't like to try new things, so the fact that she ended up making out with Dean was kind of like "wait, I thought she WASN'T drunk..." Maybe change the ending a bit to something more realistic or a smaller jump for her. Like, "and that's how I got myself a sure invitation to all the next house parties" or something like that (not the best example, but I hope you get my point)

But yes, overall, I loved your story. =]