Want to follow along with this writing? Sign up Today, it's free and easy
Approximately 29 minutes to read
*Made front page twice* Seventeen-year-old Cahira lived in a perfect world until Saffron Aureus came along and set fire to the snow.
Thanks to Ariana S. for the gorgeous cover!
over 1 year ago Mike said:
Good job,I like it
over 1 year ago Kat Shrödinger said:
I only read the first chapter, and it was AMAZING, but I was sort of confused. You did a great job explaining how things worked and giving information while having a character who knows how it all worked. (I always have trouble with that. So, points for that.) But it moved sort of fast and skipped on to new topics very quickly. My constructive criticism would be to let the characters dwell on thoughts a bit more, let the reader know how the characters are thinking. Overall, though, I really liked it! Totally deserves a heart!
over 3 years ago Catherine Hale said:
This is a really good start. You should deffinently continue.
over 3 years ago Nicki Rose said:
I really liked this book! please write more! its fun to hear about what could happen to the us, as im in canada right now!
over 3 years ago Dayna Rix said:
I know you told me I only had to read the first chapter, but I couldn't stop there! I read the whole thing. it was heart-pounding, mysterious, and very, very good! please write more :)
over 3 years ago Georgia Atkin said:
Nice... it definitely looks promising so far! Your writing's fairly smooth, and the story is interesting. I like how it takes place in the future, but not too far ahead; there are recognizable details and names of places.
I do think that maybe you should draw out certain aspects a little more (i.e. tell readers about going to visit the ruins of Washington D.C., but don't tell them yet about WHY they are ruins.).
The end of chapter 5 felt a tad bit too dramatic to be believable. Make it feel more serious, maybe delve deeper into the issue or characters. It felt too sudden, and I think you could also show more of the relationship between Cahira and Tabrez. Why is he like family to her?