1 chapter / 1315 words

Approximately 7 minutes to read



over 5 years ago Carolina Garza said:

Very good! I hope to see it continued.


almost 6 years ago Willow J Flynn said:

Oh my gosh, I loved the last line. It made the whole thing a ton creepier. Great job on this!!!


almost 6 years ago Maddie Brady said:

This is good, the only thing that threw me off was that laptop is one word.


almost 6 years ago Brandi said:

Geat jod it was interesting and well written



almost 6 years ago MelWrites845 said:

This was so good! It's very well written! I hope you write some more!! Well done!! And good luck in the contest!


almost 6 years ago Nicolai said:

I agree with emilyy. And you should continue it, it was interesting.

There are two things that are sort of off though. The scenes change really quickly. She's walks into the classroom sits down, then walks out of the classroom, then she's walking to the next classroom but ends up somewhere else instead. It all just moves really fast.

The other thing is that she reacted pretty calmly to someone telling her she had magical powers. It was just like, "Oh. Okay. The school is on fire, I don't know where my friend is, and this guy has superpowers that could probably kill me...but maybe this is still a good time to ask a bunch of questions instead of running away screaming? Sure is!" If it was all a dream I guess it doesn't really have to make sense, but I'm guessing you did intend for it to be sort of realistic (in a fantasy way, you know what I mean). Other than that it was good and well-written. I like the characters, especially the friend. Keep going. :]