You Lie

You Lie

9 chapters / 4031 words

Approximately 20 minutes to read

Description:

If you have ever been lied to, this might be something you should read.

Comments(14)

Writing picture

over 5 years ago Kirsten said:

Lovely second chapter. Poor girl, I feel so bad for her. I hate friends like these.

Writing picture

over 5 years ago Kirsten said:

Great beginning of the story! I could really relate to this story, having the same type of friends when I was younger. Please continue!

Bblogoplain

over 5 years ago The Batman said:

I managed to relate to this, I really enjoy how its relateable. Keep up the good work. : )

My girlfriend's name is emily so this was a bit funny for me. xDD

Batman kitty 2

over 5 years ago Hadiyah Stephens said:

This is really good! All of the elements are there and it makes it so realistic! Keep it up! =)

Reviews(4)

Flower

over 5 years ago tocatchyourdreams said:

Please, please continue this!! It was amazing! Annaleise was so likeable and innocent (but mostly likeable)! Emily got me fuming, and I hate her so much! At least Alexis is on Anna's side, though, and I hope Vanessa realizes about the lies. I wonder what she'll do for revenge?

This was written very relistaclly and I hope to see some more! It was, on the most part, smooth, but had a few rocky points. There were any grammatical errors or spelling or anything mistakes that stood out. When you announce the date/time, you shouldn't make it blend in with the plotline. Maybe you should bold or italicise it, to make it more formal-ish. It doesn't have to be in caps or anything, but it just blends in too much with the story.

Other than that, You Lie was amazing, and I really hope you add more! Are you? If you are, please notify me!!

Me2

over 5 years ago Madison Walker said:

Swapped for "Beautiful Monster". :)

I think this is a really good message to young people, whether they be male or female. You really should not have to put up with a "friend" that likes to backstab and create unnecessary drama; they really aren't your true friends.

I like your Main Character; I found her very relatable, without being a "Mary Sue". Emily seems like the typical Drama Queen, but you've modified her character by giving her a type of sincerity.

My suggestions to you would be to go back and run a spell check: you misspelled "apologized" in Chapter 2, and you also misspelled Annaliese's name (in some places, you'd spell it "Annaleise", and then in the next sentence, "Annaliese"), and you also misspelt "beginning". Also in Chapter 2, there was an awkwardly long blank space between the beginning of one paragraph and the next; I think you were going to make it another chapter, but it for some reason ended up on Chapter 2. You should probably change that!

Otherwise, I think you're portraying a real problem that many people go through. Keep up the good work! :)