No Place Like Hell

No Place Like Hell

3 chapters / 1007 words

Approximately 5 minutes to read

Description:

*TOTALLY NOT FINISHED*They both have secrets,they both have double lives,but who will crack first?

Genres:

Writing, Suspense, Novel

Comments(6)

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about 5 years ago anonymous said:

Please continue! This was amazing!

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about 5 years ago Cupcakes said:

COOL!!

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over 5 years ago Rei Furutaka said:

I really like it. You need to continue with it.

Whiterabbit

over 5 years ago White Rabbit said:

Awesome beginning! I really like Ik so far, I'm curious to know more. I wonder what Sarika's secret is?

Reviews(2)

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about 5 years ago Suzume Nakashima said:

It's definitely an interesting setup, but you should go through and read it out loud. When you read something of yours out loud, you tend to catch little spelling or spacing errors that you wouldn't catch just reading. Reading it to someone else is better, because you're on even higher alert to make sure you don't mess up. Unless you get too nervous, then just read it aloud to yourself. There was one error that I think was just you not knowing exactly how to spell the word. You typed "croccidile" which is SO CLOSE TO CORRECT that a droid could've caught the error. And Trust me, droid auto-correct functions are horrible, in my opinion. Anyway, the word is spelled "crocodile" 2 Os, and 1 fewer Cs. Other than that, I think you just missed the space bar. Great idea! I'd like to see more!

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about 5 years ago Cupcakes said:

scary and dark the whole story line is really interesting but it moves to fast for the reader to really experience it try slowing down and you might want to add more descriptions. Great story and i think it has real potential.

keep writing!!

~Cupcakes