Chronicles of Risq

Chronicles of Risq

1 chapter / 3617 words

Approximately 18 minutes to read

Description:

I've been noticing recently that things from my dreams have been showing up in my daytime life. Hopefully I can find out what the hell is going on before I'm wrapped up in some stupid fantasy adventure...

Risq: Twenty-two year old barista, daydreamer, and art college student. How she balances her overactive imagination with a social life, work, and school, she'll never know. Recently though, it seems thing are going to be getting complicated.

Genres:

Fantasy, Romance, Serial

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Reviews(1)

Other catbird

over 1 year ago L.S. Paco said:

I can see why this story only has one heart: its actually worth reading.

Most of the stories on this site that have 50…100…200+ hearts are either excruciating romantic fantasies written by self-absorbed teenagers, or optimistic contest entries that pirated those hearts with empty trades or pretty cover photos. It’s simple logic. Your story has one heart. Therefore, it will most likely be 100X better than any inane daydream with 100 hearts by an author with too much free time.

Hey, I never said my logic was sound. But one thing I do know is that your story has got something good in it. It’s hard to say what the something is just now, but I felt it in there somewhere between your hardy narrator and the pink-haired fairy people. It will need some polish, all stories do. But, you have an eye for writing stories, and it shows in the way you present your characters, making each of them instantly recognizable as a unique person right away. You describe this fantasy world as if you live there. You know this place. Or that’s how it comes across to me.

I would suggest, if you ever long onto Figment again and read this comment, that you continue this work. Try to ask yourself “how can I present this exact same idea in one sentence instead of two?” Try to vary the length of your sentences. Five words here, ten words there. Maybe an attractively, exhaustingly long sentence with a lot of weight and pretty adjectives thrown into the mix too, just to add some sophistication. Then. Maybe. One. Word. That’s. Just. As. Powerful. Your characters pop. That’s key here, so I also suggest jumping to meeting them ASAP. Descriptions of the aquatic fairies are fabulous, honestly I loved that. But they can wait. They’re not going anywhere; they’ll be playing in the water later while our sassy narrator tries to figure out why this watery tart Nyra has broken away from the party and prince to talk to someone she apparently doesn’t like very much. Oh and the prince, my, my he’s an…interesting one. The dialogue is fun, and complemented well by the descriptions, so go ahead and pat yourself on the back for that.

I hope you will keep working on this, or post some of your other work instead. Just know that it is not the number of hearts that matter in the world of figment. Just about anything else in the world matters more than that. Your story has that “something”. You are set.