I'm a Survivor

I'm a Survivor

1 chapter / 468 words

Approximately 2 minutes to read

Description:

PLEASE READ! Hearts will be returned!

Legacy is the only survivor. But not of a disastrous global apocalypse like you might think.

(C) Anne Rayne, 2012. All rights to plot and characters reserved. Cover background photo by the amazing aoao2 on deviantart.com

Comments(7)

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over 5 years ago Nella Ladne said:

I really like this. It's interesting and unique :) I have a few suggestions, though. For one, some of your choices in words don't really flow and that can sometimes be as a result of too much of a contrast between strong vs. familiar words. For example myriad vs. a lot. Using either of these is fine but if you switch back too often between the two (use myriad one sentence then in small vs. miniscule use small) it gets confusing and the flow's ruined. I hope that makes sense XD Also, there are a few places in your word choice that are off. But other than that, the plot line was excellent and I wish there was more! Love the cover :)

Kawaii

over 5 years ago Rachel Grusse said:

I really liked this piece. Your words and tone carried over nicely throughout the piece. I really anjoyed every bit of this. I am actually curious of how Legacy is going to evolve from here. I am very rarely satisfied by endings I thought that it was a nice wrap up at the end....even still I want to know more, it's my nature. so I hope you would consider adding more or writing a sequel if this the ending of this piece. Still fantastic job!

Firework =)

almost 6 years ago Chace Lily Vale said:

Loved the ending! Good luck in the contest!

Jadegodtier

almost 6 years ago Jade Harley said:

I totally adored this! Quite the spin on it. That's what makes is so unique. Good luck with the contest! :)

Reviews(3)

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over 5 years ago Mackenzie Levy said:

Nice piece; I like how you took a different spin on 'survivor,' even playing on people's expectations of it. One thing I noticed is that you have a lot of adjectives. Good description can really contribute to a scene or character, but unnecessary details can be annoying and burdensome. Just try going over and looking for superfluous details or phrases that just repeat already known facts, like the petals from flower baskets "that surrounded her."

Me

over 5 years ago kbj said:

Hey there. Overall impression. Awe. What a beautiful story.

The only thing that really stuck out and didn't make sense was your use of the word rancour (actually rancor). Which means bitter, rankling resentment or ill will; hatred; malice, venomous...ect.... I'm guessing that you meant to use a different word. I think you should change that though, it is a little confusing.

I really did like this story though. I like the way it was written, though it was a little confusing and hard to follow in the beginning I caught on easily and enjoyed this to the last word. I loved your writing style.

This was really simple and beautiful. A friend of mine just had surgery at Christmas, she had thyroid cancer, and she survived. So this made me remember that, this story kind of leaves you all warm inside. And kinda cheering for her in your head. 'Heck yeah! Way to go!' It is amazing. Heart-ed. XD Also the cover is beautiful, I thought I should mention that as well. kbj