Want to follow along with this writing? Sign up Today, it's free and easy
Approximately 8 minutes to read
*FINISHED* Goal of 50 hearts... This is Reid and Eme's story
about 4 years ago Snow Wolf said:
Wow this is great! I LOVED it! Like someone else said a bit more description would be good but other than that you did an awesome job!
about 4 years ago Tiara S. Blues said:
omg! that was just so energetic and great! Reid and Eme, they just sound so good together :P especially for vampires
about 4 years ago Maya Black/Brenna Helquist said:
Loved it! The love Reid felt for Eme felt entirely sincear. Although, you went way too fast. It sped by, I barely had time to register what was going on.. This is an awesome story though, keep it up !
about 4 years ago Linn Kirchhoff said:
Very cool! One suggestion: You switch between present and past tense a lot throughout the whole story, sometimes switching every line. Read through it with this in mind and correct accordingly. Personally, I like the present tense for this story. Otherwise, this was a really nice story! Good work!
over 4 years ago Emily Bruss said:
I really like this so far. The story seemed to move a bit fast though. There was a lot of dialog but not very much description. It might be good to go back in a describe the jail, the forest, the cabin, and the people. like the personalities of you character and how protective Rien was of Eme. I was a bit confused by the end,I didn't really know they were vampires and I got the feeling that the two loved each other, so I don't really get why Eme is "A new born". That could just be me though, I don't know anything about vampires.:)I liked how you started with them in the middle of everything. I think it would be cool if you went back a ways and started by telling how Rien broke into the jail and what he saw. Just a thought. Over all I really liked it.- Emily
over 4 years ago Lucifer Bremasio said:
Like the beginning of how there in Jail. At first when he woke up, I thought he was just having a dream, but I kept reading and it wasn't it was right after he kissed her wounds. It seems like a different version of Twilight with a different plot. Really hope you continue with this and turn it into a romantic/sad story. If you do, I'm pretty sure I will love it and people will love it.
P.S One spelling mistake I noticed right at the end when he had to get the blood. You said "Still" make sure it's "Steal" Just a minor one don't worry.