Snow Black the Sociopath

Snow Black the Sociopath

1 chapter / 1499 words

Approximately 7 minutes to read

Description:

Snow Black is the princess of her kingdom. Her mother dies, and so her father remarries. It is understandable that a girl would be upset by this, but Snow is only angered at the thought of losing her power.

Comments(9)

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over 5 years ago Zara Hoffman said:

freaky. loved it.

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over 5 years ago Cait Cher said:

This is a very good remake of Snow White. I was hooked to it.

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over 5 years ago Lauren said:

Whoa. I can't say much more! I mean this took an entirely DIFFERENT spin on Snow White, one that just opened itself to me and sucked me in. I mean I loved it, I was so surprised how much I loved it!!!! However I also was a bit confused when you mentioned something about the girl being 11 when her dad remarried, and then you went into depth about her mother when she was six through to like 9, and I was so confused. I thought it was the stepmother she was with, and then I realized that it was her actual mother, should have been clear as day to me, hehe, but I have those moments. Anyway...I liked it a lot! :)

Stananathantvguide

over 5 years ago Jonah Solheim said:

This is just chillingly creepy and yet superbly written. Good luck in the contest!

Reviews(5)

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over 5 years ago Amelia-Marie K.A. said:

I wish I could give you the review you deserve because this is a fantastic story. I lost the original I was typing up and I was dreading typing it up again. My main note, in much more succinct fashion, was that using "And" at the beginning of a sentence is a bit off putting. If you can avoid using words like "and" or "but" at the beginning of a sentence you should avoid it so that you can be grammatically correct. You asked me where I think you should add to after the contest is done. I agree that this piece does need to be lengthened. The best place I see to enter in new information is when Snow Black starts talking about her father marrying Catherine. I think this could lead into a small bit about where he found her, what their wedding was like, etc. Another place to lengthen would be the ensnaring of the Prince. What exactly did she do to ensnare his attention? How did she plan her brush with death? I hope this helps you and I'm really sorry for being so late with your review. I hope you do well in the contest, because this is a great story!

Chiwahuwah-web

over 5 years ago Felicity Netts said:

Hey I like your story. Nice idea. I like the writing style as well, but I think it would be better if it was written in third person subjective, seeing as that is what the writing style is like. It would greatly enhance the story. Another thing is that the pacing was great it didn't feel rushed. But I felt as if the storyline as a whole was not neccesarily rushed, but going from one point (idea) to the other without any flow or transition. I think it would be good if you expanded the story a bit more, and connected each piece together. Rather than just "throwing" them one after the other. Other than that it has the foundations of a good story.