Little Lillibet

Little Lillibet

1 chapter / 463 words

Approximately 2 minutes to read

Description:

For the ThinkingSideways Contest.Inspired by my poem/prose, Let Your Voice Be Heard. King George VI is given the news that his brother has abdicated and he is now King. Told from the perspective of Princess Elizabeth II, his daughter.

Genres:

Writing, Drama, Poetry

Comments(9)

Sunset

over 5 years ago Paige Marie said:

This was written rather nicely and I like your whole story line. Great job! :)

Meee

over 5 years ago Kearstin Clark said:

Loved this! Wonderful description & use of words :) I love how you use the surroundings as you go through the story. Good luck in the contest!

Clarinet.world

over 5 years ago Kritika said:

This was so sweet, and you did an amazing job of capturing the young Elizabeth's world. Thinking her father's stammer is because of the dragonflies is so adorable! The impact of the last few lines was really profound. I almost felt as though all the sunshine and the dragonflies had been swept out of the world. This is amazing.

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over 5 years ago Willow J Flynn said:

I like how much attention you pay to detail! This is very well written!

Reviews(2)

Sofiaspringprofpic

over 5 years ago Sofia Braunstein said:

I truly loved this piece! Usually when people write from the perspective of a young child, the story becomes mottled and confusing because the voice is too old and complicated for someone of a young age. You, though, kept up the voice of a young child beautiful and I loved the bit about the dragonfly not only because it kept with the easily distracted nature of children but because it was described in such an enchanting way. My only nitpick is the ending. You seem to switch tenses which can be acceptable but present and past are jumbled and make the ending of the story awkward. If the last three lines or so, I think, that tell that he was king and his opinion on the matter could be separated and be the only lines in past tense while the rest of the story was in present, the whole story would be perfect. The way you made a contrast between the beginning and the end was really well done because it showed more than told the emotions of the characters. So good job on that! Wonderful job and once you fix that tense problem, the story will be extra amazing. Good luck in the contest, with such a well-written piece I have no doubt you'll do well ^^

p.s. I couldn't help but think of the King's Speech when I read this.

Ember l.

over 5 years ago Ember L. said:

I'm horrible at reviews, but here's my best: I really liked this, but the ending was a little confusing. I don't understand it at all actually. I loved the beginning, it's described very well, and the characters seem real. I like the part of the dragonfly too. :)