Puddle Pebbles

Puddle Pebbles

1 chapter / 745 words

Approximately 4 minutes to read

Description:

This is the journal of Penelope. Penelope is a 15 year old that has found a puddle. She thinks that the stones inside are magical, and move themselves. But when Aaron shows up, she will have to work to find why the pebbles move one inch to the west.
***Spoilers***
this is inspired by my little cousin who took me out to see the "pebble pond" yesterday. In her little world of magic, she told me that she sees them move, and believes it is the water fairies slaving away. To her, the evil Rain has captured them and forced them to color the pebbles, and move them one inch to the west each morning.

Genres:

Adventure, Fantasy, Novel

Comments(7)

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over 3 years ago Scribe said:

i love how unique this story is =)

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almost 6 years ago Silent Writer said:

I liked this alot, I like how it is told by this girl almost to a journal or something of that nature. It ended in the middle of sentence so you might wanna check that out because I am definatly interested to see more! well done (:

Luke_chueh_fall_out_boy

almost 6 years ago J.D. Castle said:

-___- Just kidding about the journal thing, I just reread your description. Sighhh. Sorry, I'm a little blonde sometimes. Just ignore that! Haha :) ~ J.D.

Luke_chueh_fall_out_boy

almost 6 years ago J.D. Castle said:

The idea is definitely cute, I also love how you told us about how this idea came to you :) You know I always love whatever you write, but in this I feel as if the writing is a little too childish? Or like someone's journal with the way the main character talks. However, the descriptions are great! :) Keep writing because I'm curious to read more!! ~ J.D.

Reviews(3)

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almost 6 years ago Emily Burke said:

Your grammar and spelling are pretty good, but, personally, I found this story kind of confusing. The way it's written almost makes it seem like a journal at times, rather than a regular story, and the transition from paragraph to paragraph is pretty jarring at times.

You definitely have potential, just remember to read your story back to yourself, speak it out loud, and see how or if it flows.

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almost 6 years ago Shannon Rogers said:

Great start, can't wait to see where this goes.