When Forever Ends

When Forever Ends

31 chapters / 111579 words

Approximately about 9 hours to read


Seventeen year old Taylor McKenzie's life is picture perfect. Or at least that's what people think. She's beautiful, famous, and talented. She has been let down many times before, but now she is all about moving forward—and that includes forgetting the best friend she once knew.

But her little perfect life turns into a whirlwind when she compromises to live with a family friend for three months. Soon after meeting an almost-too-perfect-guy named Paulo and being more than friends with her ex-best friend/arch-nemesis, Troy, while pretending to be someone else, Taylor finds herself torn between two guys—one she barely knows but liked her for who she is, and the other who knows her almost her entire life yet likes her as somebody else.


Writing, Romance, Comedy
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about 4 years ago purplemuffin06 said:

thought you were gonna write/post the sequel? or whatever? hahaha.... OR WAS I DREAMING THAT YOU SAID THAT? :O if I was dreaming.... well! there you go! I GAVE YOU THE BEST SUGGESTION EVEEEEER !!!! haha


about 4 years ago Melanie P. said:

I read the first chapter and I thought it was really good. Must say I loved the quote at the beginning:) And the dialogue was great and really moved things along. Great descriptions as well!


about 4 years ago emmy albano said:

add more!


about 4 years ago Emelia said:

hey so i just finished reading this and i loved it, but i just want to help with one thing that i picked up and i felt needed to be fixed up for the sake of artists :) lol in your chapter 16 when your describing the dance you say 'picasso's starry night'i just want to clear it up but its Vincent van Gogh's starry night :) i just wanted to inform you :) but i really liked the story :)



over 4 years ago Rory Bradshaw said:


I really enjoyed your story. It was enjoyable, and well written. I only have one main thing I dislike (it's below) and I did sort of rant. It's more of an opinion then an error. I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but I really wanted to give you my opinion and help you out. Your an excellent writer, and it's a great story.

So I know you stated in the authors note you will not change their age, but if enough people are telling you this and you had to include it in the authors note, it's a problem. As an author, it is important to listen to your readers with certain things. Having readers dislike a characters hair color is not something to listen to, but when a bunch of people dislike the characters age, you should take note. Especially when it doesn't work. I don't agree with the age because they sound like 15 year olds or so in love. They are sitting on this park bench, flowers are all around, her curls are blowing in the breeze...and he gives her a necklace. The entire part sounds way too mature for 12 year olds. Even if it is supposed to be a romance, it doesn't feel right.

Since you are so intent on keeping the age, I would turn down the romance and make it more obviously friendship. Like taking out the parts about them looking into each others eyes, breathing and sighing, etc.

Overall, even though I sound super harsh, I really enjoyed this. I can tell you have worked hard, because I found your details and imagery perfect. Older comments said this was an issue, and I'm glad you worked on it. Changing your story is hard, but you've developed it wonderfully. I didn't like Taylor at first (I found her bratty) but she really grew on me. She develops well as time goes on. I've only read 5 chapters, but I'll make sure to come back and finish.


over 4 years ago Sarah Long said:

I read up to chapter 7 and I still want to read more! Your imagery and characters are very interesting, its just a sweet story. :)