Half- Angels: The Prophecy Begins

Half- Angels: The Prophecy Begins

3 chapters / 7102 words

Approximately 36 minutes to read

Description:

Micah, Julian, Graham, and Logan are Half- Angels. Half- Angels are products of Dark- Angels and Humans. Because of a prophecy their lives had been flipped upside down. Running from Dark- Angels, fighting demons and such. But after an unfortunate mishap. Graham is dead and the rest get a new home with new parents and a new life. But the treat of the prophecy still isn't over This story is where the prophecy begins.

This is my baby. I love this story and more than anything I want this published. Also there is a prologue and a Chapter 1. So if I asked Chapter 1 i literally mean chapter 1 not the prologue. thanks everyone :)

Genres:

Fantasy, Action, Novel

Comments(46)

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over 2 years ago ♠♥Mad As A Hatter♦♣ said:

Beautiful work.. you have brilliant talent.

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over 2 years ago MisterPanda said:

Wow! This story is really developed! :D I loved the thought of the whole dark angels thing and its absolutely amazing! I also love the beginning of chapter one, though I felt that it wasnt enough power actions. But Good work on your story dear :)

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over 2 years ago An Evanescent Moment said:

Wow.I'm i massive sucker for anything to do with Angels (hence my Name!).But i really enjoyed this.I liked how you started going strait into battle it really grabs the reader and pulls them in within the first page.:)

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over 2 years ago Cate Eliot said:

On Ch1- I can tell you've put a lot into this story. Overall I like how unqiue and creative it is. A few critisms: there were quite a few spelling errors and syntax mistakes, mostly with sentence fragments and commas. I would read the entire piece aloud to catch them. Also, be sure in your descriptions to show and not tell. This will really help add a whole extra layer to your story. I enjoyed the bible verses at the beginning and Micah is an interesting character: defiinwtely lots of potential there. Overall, great job! I hope you continue working on it. Happy writing.

Reviews(12)

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over 2 years ago ♠♥Mad As A Hatter♦♣ said:

Sorry this review will be short due to the fact I am in a class, but I did take the time to read your work. First off, the storyline is very unique in its development. There were some run-on sentences that might make it difficult for some to read an comprehend, for me it was okay since I live with British people who run their sentences together all the time... I hope that you continue this work, despite any writer's block that might pursue you in the future.

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over 2 years ago Liam Thomas said:

This was difficult to read. I was hard pressed to grasp what was going on due to the myriad of grammatical and spelling errors. This was rife with run on sentences.

You seemed unable to maintain a consistent tense. At moments it was present at others it was past. In many places you could not keep a consistent plurality. Also while I understand that you wanted to start with action, I was unable to care about what was happening due to the fact that I knew nothing about the characters.

The whole blind thing. Why is that part of the story. If you are able to cure the problem, why even have it? It has been of no significance so far and I do not see how it could be. Also, why would she not just wear the sunglasses all the time? Why would she intentionally opt out of one of her senses?

The flashback, Grahams dialogue is less than believable. When he says "If you know what I mean" and then winks, was that supposed to be serious or was he joking?

I recommend revising the prologue (Which was misspelled) and the first chapter. From what I read there was little characterization. Most sentences started with the same set of words, thus leaving the presentation of the narrative to not be dynamic. When you hyphenate something, do not space after the hyphen. This story has a clever idea, and I encourage you to keep writing.