Painfully Unaccepted

Painfully Unaccepted

1 chapter / 940 words

Approximately 5 minutes to read

Description:

Ray had a large secret, although it was really just a secret to her mother, until one day she went through Ray's private things only to uncover this secret. Ray's life changed forever after that day. She had to live with knowing her mother would never look at her the same again, that she would be so unaccepted by the one she loved her whole life.

Genres:

Writing, Short Story

Comments(5)

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about 2 years ago Wyatt Jaymes said:

Pretty good! I love this piece.

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about 2 years ago His Sammy said:

OMGOSH! This is so my life! Well, im not bisexual, but i mean the gist is the same! Tottally love it, keep it up!

Eva sirois

about 2 years ago Eva Sirois said:

Wow...I wasn't expecting that. It's really interesting so far, are you going to make this longer? Really well written, though you might want to check your grammar in some places. Great job!

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about 2 years ago Alyss of Murderland said:

I really liked the beginning, it was a great story! Just be careful with punctuation, but other than that really good!

Reviews(4)

Firework =)

about 2 years ago Chace Lily Vale said:

This was so heartbreaking... The fact that Ray's parents are so unaccepting is just plain depressing, and that note was just awful. I think you did a good job of portraying the struggles and hardships of someone who isn't accepted for who they are. A few grammar/spelling things that I caught:

"someone your not" should be "someone you're not."

"Its just not fair" ~You left out the apostrophe in "It's"

"families reputation" should be "family's reputation."

"to much for me" should be "too much for me."

Figment toad

about 2 years ago Soleil A. Twist said:

(Sorry, I got kicked off the computer halfway through this.)

Wow this just shocked me. I love it. You wrote a beautiful piece of work here, that I think with the right proofreading you would be able to make it a novel. ^_^ You need to capitalize your I's, and make a new section for whenever someone speaks. Maybe a little bit more description too. For example adding more description when she discovers the apartment empty, maybe adding a sentence or two about the dust swirling through the air and how the sun just caught it or how about all of the peanut butter stains on the walls revealed the memories long buried before her mother foudn the journal? Anyway this was an EPIC story, and the note made my jaw drop. Great job.