Just a Dream

Just a Dream

1 chapter / 624 words

Approximately 3 minutes to read

Description:

If you lost the person who mattered most, would you be able to keep living? **cover by Chenier Seaton

Comments(11)

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almost 5 years ago Mackenzie Kelley said:

I feel like every story I read on here is a tragic love story, not saying your story isn't unique or bad, just so sad. They all make me want to cry and yours is no exception. I love how you display her thoughts in her final moments and describe her feelings even if not a lot. To me it felt like I could actually feel her numbness and confusion as she slipped away from life. Well done indeed.

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over 5 years ago Brianna Maguire said:

Almost made me cry. This is fantastic. The only thing I suggest is shortening that monster of a paragraph, but even that is up to author preference (that's you, lol). And the ending! So beautiful. Great job on this one!

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over 5 years ago Heather Rose said:

This was just...wow. Amazing job, it was beautifully written. :)

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over 5 years ago Elaine Harlington said:

Whoa, the ending was like wow. And the analogy was pretty cool. I would suggest breaking up the paragraphs and just looking back over it for editing issues. But the description of the raw emotion is really touching.

Reviews(1)

185

over 5 years ago Crystal M. said:

I would suggest breaking down the first paragraph a bit. It gets to be so long. It felt a bit choppy to me but that's an easy fix. I didn't find any spelling errors. All in all, this was a sad haunting piece. I almost started crying when I read that last paragraph. Your description is amazing. I felt the pain the MC had. Good job!