Finding Me

Finding Me

6 chapters / 4283 words

Approximately 21 minutes to read

Description:

When Andy Prescott is tracked down by the killer new girl, she knows something's not right. So, in order to get her off Andy's trail, she goes to Brazil to get rid of her supernatuarl power once and for all. But when, along the way, she discovers more and more about her power, will she be able to give it up?

Genres:

Adventure, Fantasy, Novel

Comments(16)

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almost 5 years ago Tor1298 said:

Could you please finish it

Beach girl

almost 5 years ago Natasha V. said:

I really like the beginning of this, especially the first few lines. There's just something about that writing style that works really well, and I love it. The plot is also super good; very original. Nice work; keep it up!

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almost 5 years ago Jezєвєℓ Katerina said:

This was an interesting story! I love the plot so far!

Milan london

almost 5 years ago mena london said:

I read the first three chapters so it would be more of an equal swap...

Watch out for tense changes in the first chapter though. I really liked the idea also.

Reviews(2)

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over 5 years ago Ashley Norris said:

Love the first paragraph. Family is something everyone, or at least most people, can relate to. This allows your readers to instantly connect with your work.

I love how simply you describe the family history. You provide a lot of information, but not in an over barring way. You were short and to the point. Great!

Avoid the word looking. It's a bland word. Try using something more descriptive so you can paint a picture in the minds of your readers.

Avoid the word walked. There are a lot of different ways to walk, all detailing your characters mood/state of mind. Does your character saunter, stroll, meander, wander, dash, dart, or stumble?

"I was going to blow up, literally." I would take out the word literally. Unless your character is strapped with an explosive device; he's not literally going to blow up.

Sitting is kind of like walking. How your character sits can tell us a lot about their mood too. Does your character plop down, do they sit on the edge of their seat, are their legs crossed kicking on legs slightly, are their legs open and relaxed?

Overall, this is a great story. Try another read through and look for words like walked, sat, heard, felt, saw, smelled and replace them with your descriptive words.

Green sea turtle

over 5 years ago Bubbles ♥ said:

CONTINUE!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!