Stone Eyes

Stone Eyes

1 chapter / 1071 words

Approximately 5 minutes to read

Description:

A young man defies the supernatural to reveal the truth of a city turned to stone.

Cover by Amarantine.

Comments(4)

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over 5 years ago Kayla Reneé said:

This is very different. Not really sure what I think of it. Very mystical. I liked it. :]

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over 5 years ago a. kad said:

Oooh. This was good! I loved the cover! So elegant. The writing was good too. It flowed pretty well which is good! :D Overall, I enjoyed this.

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over 5 years ago Thea said:

I really liked this. Your writing is beautiful, it all flowed together really nicely. However, it is a little confusing at the beginning. And there a lot of things you did not explain, like how the city became stone, or why all the people were frozen. Besides that, it was really quite beautiful. Really beautiful writing.

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over 5 years ago Maria said:

Great job! :) I really enjoyed this. Are you planning to add more?

Reviews(10)

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over 5 years ago Jenny said:

Areas of Greatness: -The plot was very original, and it seemed planned out quite well. -the imagery you use is very beautiful. It creates a great picture as I read. -It flowed really nicely throughout the story.

Areas of Improvement: -You use the word said a lot when a character talks. Your dialogue is really interesting, so I would maybe add a little more on how the character says it, what does their face look like, etc. That would really bring the dialogue to the next level. Don't completely eliminate said though. Sometimes, it is best not to overwhelm.

-The first couple paragraphs in the beginning seem a little tangled to me. The descriptions are pretty, but at times, tangled. I had to read over a couple times to understand what you are trying to say. I get the same reaction quite often as well, just try to simplify a little.

Overall, this was a very unique and interesting story and I enjoyed reading it. The cover fits the story beautifully as well.

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over 5 years ago Ikerot said:

Before I Read

After a few days of massive headaches and studying, I am finally here to give you a review! Hahah, sorry.

But anyways, hi! The name's Ikerot and I'm here to review your story!

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Thoughts During the Story

Heheh, your mind's eyes :3

Somebody's in a bit of a semicolon frenzy. Sure, a semicolon might be nice once in a while, but when you use it a bunch of times in one sentence (or paragraph), it looks weird and confusing (because sometimes those sentences are better off separated).

Some of the sentences I can't comprehend, I don't know if it's because my brain is the size of a dried up peanut or it's your sentence in total.

"I truly felt I might have frozen them all with my disobedience to submit to the Blinding; how else would children hold so motionless, the ailing person stifle their coughs, and the old still their trembling, aching bodies?" - this should be two separate sentences.

"[T]hey say the Fates struck him down for violating their sacred toward." - Oh, so tower in this sentence isn't important?

You wrote "said" about 11 times.

I had the urge to make a lot of corrections, but fortunately, I realized this was your writing style and not mine.

Wait, what? That man just led this girl up the tower and then left her even though she said that she didn't want to be alone? HUH?!

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After Thoughts

Wait, wait, wait, wait, WAIT! So in this city of the Tower, there are people up in stones... a man wants to go to the Tower to find the truth of the Fates. On his journey there, he meets a girl who is half-Blind and takes her with him. He got himself up to the tower and then left the girl. Oh, it all makes sense now.

Or maybe he didn't leave her at all ._. he just entered an empty room. The Fates are a lie!

The beginning kind of got me a bit tired and not wanting to read anymore because it was eye tiring. Although it got my interested when he met the girl and began to have dialogues (*coughs* conversation) with her.

It took me a while to understand that the man was talking in a different style of modern since this seem to be in the old age of fantasy. I did it, however.

I don't know how I feel about this story, but I'll get back to you on that once I reread it.

Okay, I finished rereading it with my past knowledge, and nope, still don't know. There's a mix feeling. I like it for the way it was set in, but I don't like it at the same time because of how vague it is. I think I'm leaning toward the dislike side of it.