The Cuckoo in the Nest

The Cuckoo in the Nest

3 chapters / 9460 words

Approximately about 1 hour to read


Twenty years ago, seven kingdoms made a pact with the sorceress Veriscian to curse the eighth kingdom of Kazida. Since then, the Kazidans have walked only by night and hidden by day, unable to bear arms against the foes they hunt under moonlight. When the citadel of Karich fell to them, Red Vallian and her family were forced to travel to Bhere, where they sleep safe within stone walls, but Red longs to step beyond her prison's boundaries. Longs to hunt.
Complete, in editing queue. First in a four-book thingumy (a quartet? I don't know), then with a prequel and a sequel on top of that. The one I always think I'd quite like to be writing, until I'm writing it.


Action, Fantasy, Novel



over 5 years ago R.J. Jean said:

holy. mother. of. god. this. was. one. of. the. best. things. I've. ever. read. Adore. It. To. Death


over 5 years ago Sarah Spradlin said:

Holly... crud.... that was.... amazing. Your work flows so well - the characters leaping off the page. You can hear the desperation in the king's voices as they went to their last resort. Very well written and very amazing. bravo :)


over 5 years ago D~phne M,. said:

You need to continue and finish this. Seriously. You have the talent to become a published author. All you need is determination. No joke.


over 5 years ago Z.Z. Carrow said:

I enjoyed how it felt like reading a Narnia book or something of that nature but one note, when you have a fight scene try not to hop from character to character changing POVs so often, it was only slightly confusing but just a thought. Other than that I loved it!



over 4 years ago Katie said:

Wow, that was really well done! I loved the almost, I dunno, Game of Thrones, style of your writing, and the background its based on. I really liked the idea of all the different kings representing animals, and how they all have this hatred for the Queen, so we think she's a horrid person, but when we see her pov, she seems so much less harmful and evil, and we feel bad for her. I also enjoyed the foreshadowing in chapter 1, when the youngest king says that no good can come of their deal, so we know that it obviously will lead to issues later on. Your words flow smoothly and elegantly, and my favourite part was definitely the opening. That description was magical. My only comment would be that I was slightly confused by all the kings' names at the start, but I don't think that is something you can really change, so i'll just deal with it :) Brilliant work!


about 5 years ago Katie Swanson said:

First, I thought this was really well written! I love Red. I could totally relate to her in the story. And I'm super curious about the wolf leaving her.

So I only have a few improvements:

1) I had to reread the part where Taksha was killed because I didn't quite understand at first. The wolf just seemed to appear.

2) Some of your paragraphs were a little lengthy and they get hard to follow along.

3) I kept getting confused with all of the names. Did two of the kingdoms get destroyed and now they're living in Bhere? Or only one? I think if you clarify that a little more that would really help.

Anyway, I loved all the imagery in the story because it really helped me picture what was happening which I think is important for a book like this.

Great job overall!:) (For our swap)