Catching the Bus

Catching the Bus

1 chapter / 1350 words

Approximately 7 minutes to read

Description:

*Cover produced by the marvellous (and talented, or so she tells me) Tara Poppleford*
The last thought process of a man condemned by his own mind.

Genres:

Writing, Drama

Comments(24)

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almost 6 years ago Sneha P said:

Great story. I felt kinda confused when you talked about the men because I didn't know which one you were referring to exactly when you said 'he'. I think you meant 'past' instead of 'passed' somewhere. But otherwise well written. :)

Ami's-ami-avatar-9

almost 6 years ago CinnamintCherry said:

Wow! A very amazingly written work! The image of the bus stop and everything else were so vivid. I didn't expect the ending and how it was such strong message. I especially loved the last line on how the world forgot the average man. It's sad, but true. Great job and keep writing! :)♥

18-vampire-diaries[1]

almost 6 years ago Eriny Hany said:

This is very well writen . You have a really good talent that you should keep developing. Your describtions just pushed me in the story so great job :)

Jessy2

almost 6 years ago J.L. Breckenridge said:

Very, very well done! I love the descriptions in the second paragraph, they're beautiful. Great Job!

Reviews(5)

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almost 6 years ago h.f. said:

This was absolutely superb. It was haunting and spooky but skillfully written at the same time, and I thoroughly loved reading it.

Your word choice in this was impeccable, and the descriptions were great. They painted a picture in my head; I felt like I was standing there, watching this man end his life. And how you described him dying... Spectacular, every little bit of it.

Some small spelling errors I happened to notice:

1. “The man’s matte black hair, the artificial result of a hairdresser’s $80 invoice…” Did you mean “matted black hair”?

2. (Note, this is in the same sentence as the first error):

“…yielding his face in the torrential dowpour that the man had not the foresight to predict.”

You spelled “downpour” wrong.

So, yeah. That’s pretty much it for spelling errors. Note, they were both in the second paragraph.

Overall, this was absolutely fantastic. A phenomenal piece of writing--you're definitely very talented. Excellent job with this. :)

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almost 6 years ago J. B. Steckler said:

As soon as I began, I noticed your word choice. Spectacular. You describe each action and image with outstanding detail and clearly define your characters. A good and spooky story, well done.