Catching the Bus

Catching the Bus

1 chapter / 1350 words

Approximately 7 minutes to read

Description:

*Cover produced by the marvellous (and talented, or so she tells me) Tara Poppleford*
The last thought process of a man condemned by his own mind.

Genres:

Writing, Drama

Comments(24)

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almost 6 years ago Lee Morvan said:

i really enjoyed this! great job :)

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almost 6 years ago AuthorInTraining said:

Not bad. Some things to fix to make it more captivating, but other than that good.

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almost 6 years ago x said:

Now THIS is what I call a phenomenal short story. :D This is maybe one of my favourite things I've read on Figment. Your word choice is spectacular, and the imagery you created was so beautiful. I have absolutely nothing bad to say about this. It's just...fantastic. *.*

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almost 6 years ago Tara Poppleford said:

This is great. It really moved me. Well done.

Reviews(5)

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almost 6 years ago h.f. said:

This was absolutely superb. It was haunting and spooky but skillfully written at the same time, and I thoroughly loved reading it.

Your word choice in this was impeccable, and the descriptions were great. They painted a picture in my head; I felt like I was standing there, watching this man end his life. And how you described him dying... Spectacular, every little bit of it.

Some small spelling errors I happened to notice:

1. “The man’s matte black hair, the artificial result of a hairdresser’s $80 invoice…” Did you mean “matted black hair”?

2. (Note, this is in the same sentence as the first error):

“…yielding his face in the torrential dowpour that the man had not the foresight to predict.”

You spelled “downpour” wrong.

So, yeah. That’s pretty much it for spelling errors. Note, they were both in the second paragraph.

Overall, this was absolutely fantastic. A phenomenal piece of writing--you're definitely very talented. Excellent job with this. :)

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almost 6 years ago J. B. Steckler said:

As soon as I began, I noticed your word choice. Spectacular. You describe each action and image with outstanding detail and clearly define your characters. A good and spooky story, well done.