Time Flies

Time Flies

1 chapter / 1755 words

Approximately 9 minutes to read

Description:

Two kids, A storm, and an English telephone booth... What could go wrong?

Comments(19)

20160914_153451-picsay

over 4 years ago Mimi Fera said:

LOVE THIS!!!!

Fullsizerender

almost 5 years ago Aurora Sanders said:

She might be trapped in the past and her biggest worry is how she might get grounded? :D

Cat

over 5 years ago arizina said:

Wow! This short story was fun. I enjoyed it!(:

Peeta and you know it

over 5 years ago Taylor HUZZAH! -n said:

I liked this! Time machines are always fun to write about!=]

Reviews(3)

Purple eye

almost 3 years ago S. B. Pierce said:

I feel like this could use some editing. You could add a lot more detail to this. Also, it feels sort of rushed. However, the idea was great.

Blue

over 5 years ago 3 said:

SWAP: First of all, thanks for swapping with me. Secondly, I thought this was a really good idea, but there were some things that need work. Thridly, I'm going to be REALLY harsh on you. Feel free to be hard on me too. I promise I'm doing this because I think you're talented.I think that the dialogue is a little too scripted. At the the part where he talks about his parent's professions, I thought it sounded like he was talking to the readers and not to Ellie. Maybe try taking that info and using a thought or a description to explain things. All of the dialogue sounds a little unrealistic, and there were too few details. It felt like you were using dialogue as a replacemant of details. Because of the lakc of the details, the whole thing went a little fast. It was a good skeleton, but you need to get some meat on those bones!