Bitten But Better Off

Bitten But Better Off

2 chapters / 2804 words

Approximately 14 minutes to read

Description:

Cassandra Goldshaw. Thrust aside by her Mother for her new stepfather. Big Mistake.
You'll never see her again.
She's been Bitten. But she's better off now.

Comments(16)

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almost 2 years ago The Klutz said:

I love the last three sentences of chapter 2! LOL, so funny! It is a little fast, and it wouldn't hurt if you would read through it out loud to catch your mistakes, give it a published sound, you know?

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almost 2 years ago Madison Cipriano‚ô• said:

Please add more!

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about 2 years ago Serenity said:

The storyline was great. The title is awesome. Seems kind of cliche, though, but then again I'm really not into anything with those different paranormal species. I would suggest breaking up the paragraphs more, though.

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about 2 years ago Monica said:

This is really good!!! Like legit wow u had a really good plot and I love the cover photo

Reviews(3)

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about 2 years ago Cole Schofield said:

Overall very promising!! The Vampire idea has been overdone far too many times, but I think you can do Justice and bring them back to the terrifying monsters they are >:D But I do have some things to suggest! Firstly, Revise, revise, revise! There were some punctuation errors, like often you wouldn't put in a punctuation at the end of a sentence that a character would be saying, or sometimes you'd make some spelling errors, so always check for those!! Secondly, Slow down a bit!! I know slow paced stuff can be boring, but there's a certain extent to when it's too rushed and overwhelming :( the premise is really interesting, but slowing down and tossing in some description of surroundings, or just finding other ways to slow it down would make it a lot of a better read, even if it is a short story and there's only so much you can cram in :P But in conclusion I thought it was good! 'Mad Ninja Skills', so jokes xD - Cole Schofield

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about 2 years ago J'ai Cruse said:

i loved the story alot, the plot was very good, not old or plain.You took a very used topic and made it so that is not cliche but fresh ,good job! :)