about 1 year ago Cole Schofield said:

Overall very promising!! The Vampire idea has been overdone far too many times, but I think you can do Justice and bring them back to the terrifying monsters they are >:D But I do have some things to suggest! Firstly, Revise, revise, revise! There were some punctuation errors, like often you wouldn't put in a punctuation at the end of a sentence that a character would be saying, or sometimes you'd make some spelling errors, so always check for those!! Secondly, Slow down a bit!! I know slow paced stuff can be boring, but there's a certain extent to when it's too rushed and overwhelming :( the premise is really interesting, but slowing down and tossing in some description of surroundings, or just finding other ways to slow it down would make it a lot of a better read, even if it is a short story and there's only so much you can cram in :P But in conclusion I thought it was good! 'Mad Ninja Skills', so jokes xD - Cole Schofield

about 1 year ago J'ai Cruse said:

i loved the story alot, the plot was very good, not old or plain.You took a very used topic and made it so that is not cliche but fresh ,good job! :)