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Approximately 14 minutes to read
Cassandra Goldshaw. Thrust aside by her Mother for her new stepfather. Big Mistake.
You'll never see her again.
She's been Bitten. But she's better off now.
almost 4 years ago KitKate said:
I love the last three sentences of chapter 2! LOL, so funny! It is a little fast, and it wouldn't hurt if you would read through it out loud to catch your mistakes, give it a published sound, you know?
almost 4 years ago Madison Cipriano♥ said:
Please add more!
about 4 years ago Rona said:
The storyline was great. The title is awesome. Seems kind of cliche, though, but then again I'm really not into anything with those different paranormal species. I would suggest breaking up the paragraphs more, though.
about 4 years ago Monica said:
This is really good!!! Like legit wow u had a really good plot and I love the cover photo
about 4 years ago J'ai Cruse said:
i loved the story alot, the plot was very good, not old or plain.You took a very used topic and made it so that is not cliche but fresh ,good job! :)
about 4 years ago karlee.hall said:
I chose to review 'Bitten But Better Off' for two reason. Firstly, I enjoy a good supernatural read and secondly, my book is also based around vampires so I thought I could give a more insightful opinion on the particular genre :)
Okay so...love the title. It suits your plot perfectly, awesome work.
Onto the plot, heaps of potential I'll say firstly. There are some really great moments. I'm especially eager to hear more about the other species 'werewolves, faeries (you spelt it differently, sorry can't remember the exact spelling!) witches. Already I can see a rich plot as the book progresses.
However, I feel these first two chapters could be (how to put it) fuller ? What is here feels like a great backbone for your story. I feel you need to do an edit and add more detail and history to it. Tell us more about Cassandra's life as a human. Give more detail as to the moment she was bitten. This can potentially be a really haunting moment, it's the exact instant her life as a human changed forever, hell, it completely ended ! Put yourself in the position...add more detail to the moment. Also, I felt odd about how her friend let her just wander into the bushes after 4 other teenagers had gone missing without much protest, however, I flipp'n loved the line about 'mad ninja skills'. Really nice touch there.
Alright, I'm going to stop blabbering. Please don't get me wrong, I love this and feel sooooo much potential here. With a slight edit this will burst with pure win ! Thanks for an awesome read. Honestly loved it.