The story is very good. I love the concept. Could be longer, but I understand its for a contest. Good luck in the contest by the way. Love the descriptions which provide vision even though they are breif.
Woah, that was AMAZING. I really loved how at the end it says that they are all fools, because it shows how much she really believed in her and how much she loved her to still believe that she was the kind girl she was that tried to befriend her, all in all it was sad but very good.
It's a very good story. It tells how a person, no matter the age, can be fooled by someone who has a kind voice & a kind face. The boy is the embodiment of how all people think. That if someone is kind to them, then they're a kind person. The story was eerie & I really liked it, I hope that there are more stories to come.
I think this is very interesting. I love the story and characters, and I feel like that you should really develop it more. There were a few parts where "they" and "it" was mentioned and I wasn't sure who it was. So maybe just a little more detail. I would like to see the two main characters bond more so that the split is even sadder. Very good story idea, good job!
Comments(6)
7 months ago Karly said:
Excellent! That was with no doubt one of the best grave mercy contest entries I've read. Nice job. :)
about 1 year ago Allykat said:
This was absolutely fabulous. Such a nice twist. Good work!
about 1 year ago Tiffany Williams said:
The story is very good. I love the concept. Could be longer, but I understand its for a contest. Good luck in the contest by the way. Love the descriptions which provide vision even though they are breif.
about 1 year ago Tay P. said:
Woah, that was AMAZING. I really loved how at the end it says that they are all fools, because it shows how much she really believed in her and how much she loved her to still believe that she was the kind girl she was that tried to befriend her, all in all it was sad but very good.
Reviews(2)
8 months ago Destiny Renee said:
It's a very good story. It tells how a person, no matter the age, can be fooled by someone who has a kind voice & a kind face. The boy is the embodiment of how all people think. That if someone is kind to them, then they're a kind person. The story was eerie & I really liked it, I hope that there are more stories to come.
about 1 year ago RedBird said:
I think this is very interesting. I love the story and characters, and I feel like that you should really develop it more. There were a few parts where "they" and "it" was mentioned and I wasn't sure who it was. So maybe just a little more detail. I would like to see the two main characters bond more so that the split is even sadder. Very good story idea, good job!