Raptor

Raptor

13 chapters / 18097 words

Approximately about 2 hours to read

Description:

Everything has a secret.
That’s the mantra 18-year-old Adella ‘Ada’ Fairborn has lived by her whole life. As the daughter of an influential aristocrat, Adella has heard her fair share of secrets. Whether they’re low-life urchins or lords and ladies, everyone is hiding something.
Of course, this will matter nothing after her impending marriage to the son of the Head of the city occurs. She’s to be a bride, to make more connections in the aristocracy. She’s, quite essentially, a pawn.
But Adella doesn’t want this life. So she escapes on the day of the wedding, escapes to the most dangerous district in Tiare. But now she’s on the run from her family’s guards, who will stop at nothing to get her back and reinstate the marriage, and has to manage to navigate these dark streets alone.
So, when 19-year-old Raptor Blacklock-sewer rat, tunnel lurker, and criminal extraordinaire-shows up, and tells her he knows a safe way out of the city, she’s hard-pressed not too agree. Besides, he knows what being a pawn is like, and as ever-infuriating as he is, he also holds some intrigue for this sheltered young woman.
But Adella knows what secrets are like. She knows what they can do to a person. Raptor Blacklock is not all that he seems, and neither is Tiare. Plots are being made, assassinations are being planned, and blood is being spilled. Ever-confusing Raptor holds some deadly secrets that could either save them or destroy them-but first he has to figure out what they are. Can she trust him? Can she even trust herself?
Everything has a secret-that’s been her mantra.
But now she has a new one.
Because sometimes, secrets are deadly.

Action-packed, full of mystery, romance and suspense, ‘Raptor’ is the first book of the Blacklock Chronicles, and is an exciting thrill ride from start to finish.
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Interested in reading? Hopefully my attempt at an actual novel summary drew you in!
This is called 'Raptor' for a reason. Adella may be watching and narrating everything that is going on, but this is Raptor's story.
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*DISCLAIMER*
Remember that this is an incomplete story, and a work-in-progress. If you are confused about any parts, remember that in a real, completed novel, you eventually get an explanation. So, don't complain about being confused about how a person is acting or a situation is playing out, because everything will be explained in the end. Thank you! :)

Genres:

Action, Drama, Steampunk

Comments(64)

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8 months ago Alexandr Lukin said:

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almost 4 years ago Evelyn R. said:

So, I read all of it and wow. This is amazing. Your caliber for writing is out of the world. If your cover making is stunning, I'm not too sure what to say about this. The development of each character and oh gosh, I'm in love with the Ada and Raptor, and their cute little relationship. If I get started with the praises, I'm afraid I'd have absolutely no place to stop, this is just amazing. I'm surprised that this isn't a huge hit out there. Every single novel reader would love it, 'Love at first sight.'

I can't wait for the next chapter. And goodness, this will be haunting me for the next few days, if not weeks (Probably months with the caliber of the story). I really hope you can continue on this, and soon.

Eve here shall be waiting in great anticipation! ^.^

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almost 4 years ago Hopeful Budgie said:

Raptie!

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almost 4 years ago Linda Dionne said:

Oh please, please write more! I read it all now and I love it so much. Flora and Raptor have a perfect banter and the story cooks along at a lovely pace. Please keep writing this, I want to know what happens!

Reviews(16)

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over 4 years ago Alice Autumn said:

So, I read some of it. I don’t have oodles of time to read all of it, but I’m not going to lie, this story is amazing. I admire you for being able to write Steampunk because that is the hardest thing for me to write and I find it so interesting! I like the way you’ve transform the modern day cities into different places that resemble it, which captures the pure essence of Steampunk.

I did notice a few things; mainly that it doesn’t seem all that flowing when you describe a place. It doesn’t seem natural-ish, and more awkward and forced. I guess what I mean is that when you describe and set the scene up, it seems kind of forced. Like when you are describing Ada, it doesn’t seem to flow into each other in a wave of description. No, there isn’t anything grammatically wrong with it, but when I read it, it just didn’t seem to fit? Catch my drift? Yes? No? Well, I’ll try to describe it more if you ask me.

When it comes to grammar and stuff, I see nothing really wrong with the piece, and your tenses seem all in check. I think that my only nitpick is above, so onto the praise!

I see a ton of potential in this, and I think the characters are very well-developed, so far, at least. I like Ada and she seems like an interesting person who wants adventure, but has always been trained to be obedient and a scared little princess of sorts. Is it bad I didn’t like the sister? She seems too goody-two-shoes and if all of the characters in the story from where Ada is from are like that, no wonder she wanted to get out!

I’m interested in Raptor. I’ve only made it to Chapter 4, but from the prologue, he seems like the type of character I love! I can’t wait to read more, but unfortunately I’m running out of time due to the fact that I need to get to bed [way over tired, that’s why this is kind of lame, sorry!]

Anyway, keep up the writing and everything! ~Indi [Swap for Mistletoe]

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over 4 years ago Anna M. Watson said:

Wow, I just read this entire piece. You say on your profile that you will give back what you get in regards to reviews, so since I read the whole thing, I'm going to try to give you a good one. If you do happen to want to read something of mine, I'd appreciate some feedback on Treasured.

So overall, I really like it. The characters are intriguing and your style is pretty good. I'd like a mention of Adella's name a bit sooner in the book though. It seemed not to come up until a few chapters in.

I was a little confused about the spatial positioning in Tiare. If she could see a murder happen to the extent that she could see the man's eyes glass over, how big is this city? Does she practically live in the "bad" part of town? Or is her window so high up that she can see far away from her area of the city to the bad part? And if that's true, how can she see exactly what's happening? Just seems a bit far-fetched.

In the last chapter you have up, Adella calls Raptor Mr. Brixton. I think that might be a typo on your part...since he didn't react.

Those Horrors totally freaked me out, but it would be cool to have a bit more description of them!

I got a little bored in the middle when Adella was just hanging out at the inn. Maybe make a few more things happen in there.

"Little do I know, it is not going to last." You do this a few places, but when you're writing in first person present tense, your character doesn't know what's going to happen and therefore cannot tell readers what's going to happen. If you were writing in past tense, this would be okay (though I still recommend not letting readers know what's coming), but you should be careful with it here.

I didn't like Raptor at first, but he's growing on me. Certainly a mysterious character.

So I guess that's all for now. Again, I really enjoyed it, and if you want to read some of Treasured, I would greatly appreciate it. Happy writing!

-Anna M. Watson