about 1 year ago Rachael Durbin said:

I saw you on one of the groups I'm in and decided to check-out your stories. This one was good. I did have some cons (things I think need flushing out), but the pros Ithings I really liked about it) outweigh them. Please, keep in mind that the cons are only my own opinion and not something set in stone...so, feel free to toss them into the virtual trashcan at any time.

Cons: 1)I would have liked a bit more descriptions. What did the building they were in look like? How far to the police office was it? As the writer, you know what everyone in your story looks like, feels, etc..., but your readers don't and you need to accommodate for that. I sometimes forget this as well when I write so I thought I'd mention it.

Pros: 1)This was a most intriguing storyplot. It get me hook, line, and sinker from the very beginning. I was completely drawn in from the start and kept on the edge of my seat the whole way through. I liked that the main character was willing to get hurt so that the others could escape.

2)The bad guy was well written. Even after only a few short lines I had already decided to dislike him. Not every writer succeeds in doing this, so I tip my hat to you for accomplishing it (really!).

All in all, a good story. I'm glad I read it. Keep up the ncie writing.