FeatherLight

FeatherLight

4 chapters / 1171 words

Approximately 6 minutes to read

Description:

I'm writing this for the shatter me contest. Jessa and Casper are young and in love. When they share their first kiss, something goes wanky! Casper shocks Jessa withdraw magic. Wait, what magic, you ask? Magic from angels.

Genres:

Writing, Short Story

Comments(6)

Caution

over 5 years ago Austen Cooper said:

This is a very cute piece. Again though with the word limit! Ugh it restricts all the talent. Good luck in the competition!

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over 5 years ago Alex M. Stache said:

I did like it, but some parts seemed a little rushed' therefore unbelievable. Space things out when the contest ends so it becomes less rushed and more believable. Again I liked it, I loved the emotion. Good job

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over 5 years ago A Girl That Writes said:

this is really good! good luck with the contest!

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over 5 years ago Sofia Braunstein said:

I really like this! To be truly honest I thought it was a bit rushed, but it has a word limit so any story with this much to say in such a short amount of time will be rushed. You did a wonderful job, and oh I'm a romantic as heart so this catered perfectly to my tastes. Good luck on the contest!

Reviews(2)

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over 5 years ago Grace L. said:

*Swap*

For the first paragraph, try to not start so many sentences with the same word.

The story seems a bit rushed, I would suggest making it bit longer?

Hmm, it seems a little bit unbelievable. Maybe if you said something like "He's never tried to kiss me before" after that scene, it would help.

Sorry for sounding like jerk. ): But I really liked how this time, it's the friend who can't touch people, not the narrator. Good job!

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over 5 years ago Kris Skater said:

This was pretty good, though there was so many grammar errors. It had a nice plot :)