I've Been Looking

I've Been Looking

1 chapter / 583 words

Approximately 3 minutes to read


*Cover by Mira Lamb*
Do I believe in love at first sight? Yes.
Do I want it to happen to me? Not Even a Litte.
The thing about immediate, knocks-you-over-the-head attraction is that it is usually a one-way affair. Feeling emotions which are THAT strong THAT quickly, will no doubt lead to pain. Being on the receiving end of that intense emotion --with out it being mutual-- is probably unpleasant as well. However, in "I've Been Looking", I created a world where these sorts of things are blessedly dual-sided.


Cool kids can't die

almost 4 years ago ejf said:

This was amazing. I loved the last line, "Like a tongue at missing tooth" and the idea that a person, just by seeing them, can fall in love. It was vivid and real and exuded warmth.


over 4 years ago Kannella Hill said:

I like this :) I like the descriptions of everything and the writing stype too :) It's such a cute story that you can't help but smile while reading it. :)


over 4 years ago Anthony Norton said:

This is nowhere near my cup of tea.

..Yet I loved every second of it. The imagery was vivid and alive, and I was smiling mostly through it. Good good job. Kudos.


almost 5 years ago Jennifer said:

Very cute. I enjoyed reading this piece.



over 5 years ago Ida B. said:

You spelled pieces wrong. ^_^

Other than that, you are alright in that department! I love this though, it's incredibly swift and cute and flows quite well. Love the descriptions too. But I do suggest you add color. What were the color of her pearls? What was the color of his hair? His eyes? Her eyes? Etc. color adds more to things, personally thinking, more richness.

I loved the line, I had found my lost tooth. That was so cute and adorable, I smiled. it was really admirable that you were able to put all of this in such few words, but I do commend you for doing sucha great job. Well done! =)


over 5 years ago AnQi Yu said:

So, first of all, I can't say how grateful I am for your butt whooping grammar skills. I have finally found my grammar soulmate! But seriously, there are so many stories that could be great if they just slaughtered off all the commas. So awesome job with that!

There's nothing I really have to say about this, critique wise- the story was good, the end gave me an aha moment ( like now I know what you're talking about!) I just couldn't feel for the characters as much as I supposed you'd like me to, however- I thought the feelings were a little bit vague. I just couldn't wrap my head around it.

Overall though, there is something in here very sweet that is speaking to my inner romantic. I hope you do wl in the contest!