Temperest

Temperest

11 chapters / 10925 words

Approximately about 1 hour to read

Description:

"I lifted my duffel bag and I boarded the train. The first step up the small stairs was hard. It wasn't the step that was hard, it was that it was going to be my final step in Wyoming for a long, long time."

Comments(19)

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almost 5 years ago Rebecca Woodburn said:

Awww! This is so sweet! Maybe you could make a sequel? Like add more of Tommy's background and maybe traveling back to civilization or encountering other people from the bombing? That would be great! :)

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over 5 years ago S.J. Bouquet said:

Could you check out "If I'm Louder"? :D I love the cover to this and it pulled me in! :D I'll read more of this soon.

Yourstrulybitch

over 5 years ago drew la said:

The ending - - - I'm speechless. That was the most beautiful thing I've ever read. Ever. Callie, you are the one person I know who can put real, through-and-through soul in their writing. You put yourself in the perspective of your character, and I don't know- you just make perfect stories. May I say, best writer ever?

Yourstrulybitch

over 5 years ago drew la said:

You know what I love? I love logging on and seeing your story first thing as recently updated.

Reviews(5)

Yay6

over 5 years ago Sayjay said:

I like how well you do the dialogue (I have trouble with that!) and how you developed Kendra's character. However, there are a few things that you could do to improve it, like a bit more setting description...

- I was a bit confused on the part where you describe everyone running away; and then jumped right in to Kendra thinking back to the event as 'the bombing'. Could you clarify this and add detail? At first I thought it was just an explosion. And you talk about the government attacking them- why would the U.S. government bomb their own state???

- You have put a lot of depth into the Kendra/Tommy relationship- could you have kendra also thinking about michael and her mom and her dad? Also why they were bombed :)

- Why did they run to the forest when it would be more prudent to journey to an adjacent city? And why would they have to live there the rest of their lives?

-I thought the ending was abrupt- I mean, at first I didn't know it had ended. I loved the description there, though, but who was Temperest? Was it Kendra? And what did it all mean?

... These are just the questions/thoughts that I had while reading your story. Other people might have different opinions. Hope my advice helps! And good job w/the story!

Bc-yk8iiqaadl0i

over 5 years ago Phoebe said:

WOW! I loved this so much! The plot is really good and I also love the characters and how much discription you put in. I really hope this gets tonnes more hearts and reviews. It's honestly one of the best longer stories that I have read on Figment!

- Phoebe (: