they say she was perfect.

they say she was perfect.

5 chapters / 2505 words

Approximately 13 minutes to read

Description:

UF+N:
They say she was perfect.

Beautiful,--,

Her eyes were emerald green, her hair the darkest brown,

curling perfectly down to her shoulders..

As I grew up alone, I learned that she had always been better than I was, and that I was the worst piece of trash ever to roam our apartment- but I had never learned her name. Soon after she left, leaving me to Tanya and Bill. I will never forget what happened then.

Genres:

Writing, Novel, Drama

Comments(36)

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over 4 years ago Thalia Bowman said:

Please and I mean PLEASE write more. It very good and I want you to keep writing. :) -Thalia

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almost 6 years ago PaulinaO said:

I'm really liking it! I want to know more about this characters!!

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almost 6 years ago Sabrina Nicole Meinhardt said:

This left me left me speechless...absolutely amazing.

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almost 6 years ago Bijou Lee said:

This is awesome! Love the couple, so cute :)

Reviews(4)

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almost 6 years ago Cait Cher said:

I have never read a story with so much emotion before. I love this.

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almost 7 years ago Hannah Henson said:

Man! That story really tugged on the heart strings...

I loved the prologue! It was perfectly vague but informative, it didn't throw out too much at you at once. It really hooked you. My only problem was the formatting seemed a bit off, but that's probably just figment doing that. Does that to me all the time.

The beginning was good, if just a tiny bit shaky. The first few paragraphs had a lot of info at once, so I might suggest stretching it out a bit. Either way, once I got past that, it was smooth sailing. You created a very sympathetic character, and wrote it very well. I got a feel for her personality without a lot of her interactions with other people, it was all in the narrative. And again, it really messed with you emotionally! It was quite sad, but not in a bad way or anything. Sometimes sad stories seem to be that way just for the sake of being sad, but I didn't feel that at all with this.

The only bit I might change is at the end there, she said something like "that's when they started to regularly abuse me", it seemed a bit abrupt and forced. I think something like that would be better shown and not told. Or at least mentioned vaguely and not flat-out.

But wow, I want to read more! It has such great potential for future chapters!