This is very nice! I don't quite get it, probably because I am not familiar to the southern region and I have no idea what a Rhodendurun(however it's spelled), but, I liked it. It has this strangeness to it that I find attractive.
I think making it rhyme is a poor suggestion, though. A poem can flow without rhymes. Just keep it the way it is.
This is beautiful. I've been in ice storms myself, so I experienced two worlds while reading this. One of them was the world you've created, the vibrant city of New Orleans reduced to a frosty wasteland. The other is of blocking off the living room in my house with blankets and lighting the fireplace to keep warm, because the ice here did exactly what it did to the power lines in your cover.
Great imagery. The piece is extremely poetic, and if there were any flow issues, I was too lost in the pictures in my head to notice them.
ah, i really don't think you should make it rhyme.
i really enjoy this poem, how it hints at a larger picture, but doesn't go into detail. i also like that it evoke new orleans, and gets into the setting more than most poetry.
i'm new here, if you'd consider reading/reviewing some of my work it'd be great, you seem like you really know what you're doing.
I mostly agree with Ihana. Also, if you can manage, I believe this poem could be really good if you could make it rhyme! You might consider trying it....
However, I did enjoy the poem, the story was interesting, and was just very well done. The way you told the story made it flow really well. Great job!
Comments(10)
5 months ago Kayy said:
This was beautifully written and I thought it flowed perfectly. I really enjoyed reading this. Great job!
9 months ago K. Qua said:
Amazing. Thank you for sharing this.
about 1 year ago Cedric David Panther said:
This is very nice! I don't quite get it, probably because I am not familiar to the southern region and I have no idea what a Rhodendurun(however it's spelled), but, I liked it. It has this strangeness to it that I find attractive. I think making it rhyme is a poor suggestion, though. A poem can flow without rhymes. Just keep it the way it is.
over 1 year ago Alexes said:
This is beautiful. I've been in ice storms myself, so I experienced two worlds while reading this. One of them was the world you've created, the vibrant city of New Orleans reduced to a frosty wasteland. The other is of blocking off the living room in my house with blankets and lighting the fireplace to keep warm, because the ice here did exactly what it did to the power lines in your cover.
Great imagery. The piece is extremely poetic, and if there were any flow issues, I was too lost in the pictures in my head to notice them.
Reviews(3)
about 2 years ago mia shackelford said:
ah, i really don't think you should make it rhyme. i really enjoy this poem, how it hints at a larger picture, but doesn't go into detail. i also like that it evoke new orleans, and gets into the setting more than most poetry.
i'm new here, if you'd consider reading/reviewing some of my work it'd be great, you seem like you really know what you're doing.
over 2 years ago Joshua "LF" Mitchell said:
I mostly agree with Ihana. Also, if you can manage, I believe this poem could be really good if you could make it rhyme! You might consider trying it....
However, I did enjoy the poem, the story was interesting, and was just very well done. The way you told the story made it flow really well. Great job!