11 chapters / 3764 words

Approximately 19 minutes to read


Lydia is turning seventeen, and she is about to inherit her family's secret heritage.

(Serial Fiction Contest finalist. Cover art by Charmaine Olivia.)


Romance, Fantasy, Serial


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about 2 years ago Lauren F. said:

The story is really sweet and beautiful. I loved the analogies!


over 3 years ago Ninoshka Aviles said:

This is such a dream! I'm completely in love with this story. The way you write is absolutely beautiful and I wish there was more of this story.

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over 4 years ago E.R. Warren said:

I love this. It's so beautiful.


about 5 years ago Catherine Hale said:

This is incredible, dearie! It's so strange the way it's written, but it's the kind of beautiful strange that makes youwant to keep on going. I'm a fan. When you add to this could you post on my page? Thanks doll :)



about 5 years ago Samantha Chaffin said:

Oh. My word. How have I missed out on this story for so long...?

The language is SO RICH. Just... I can’t. I feel as though I have been inside this world myself and am struggling to resurface! :) Each adjective is carefully placed and well-chosen, and immediately lured me into the realm of the story. I swear... your writing is just a magical medley of visual poetry and emotional flavors. Haha

I’m having a nerd moment, so you must forgive me, but the use of alliteration—especially at the beginning of “Old Tales”—was tantalizing. I fell in love with the language far before that, obviously, but the musicality of this particular chapter really solidified it. Also, (this is what I get for reading “The Magic Sinister” before this) the fact that you used the word “Unmaker” to describe Elisa really stood out to me. It’s such a powerful thing, to unmake something, and I love that you use it with such a reverence for its potency.

This story is a fairytale in its truest form. It is light with the dark, as implied by such lines as “the thread is made from the sinews of a fox” (Skin) and “ripe, bloody fruit” (Gift). You allowed me to get caught up in the beauty, but every once in a while, you would select a word or a phrase that tapped me on the shoulder and reminded me that Beauty is an untamable beast... often present in tragedy as well as joy.

And I loved the last chapter, Family. You did a wonderful job of portraying him as the leader of the family, and showing us that it’s a role he takes on unwillingly. The last few sentences are so endearing, and his description that Lydia is “like a wild creature” is spot on.

Now, I must ask. You are planning to continue, RIGHT? Haha I really hope so. But in any case, I am leaving this page in absolute awe. Brilliant work!


over 6 years ago Alex Knight said:

Congrats on being a finalist! I couldn't post a review until the contest was over, so here is my (late) review: Writing Style & Grammar- Your writing style is pleasant. The flow of the story is very laid back. I love how you describe Beau. I also love how no one says anything (no quotes) until the third chapter. Plot development and flow- Everything flowed smoothly. Plot wise, I feel like there could have been more. I understand that she wanted to be a swan and she became one, but did she not have other feelings? And what about Beau? What happened to him? The story is told very nicely, and everything is smooth. Your details and descriptions are beautiful, and you incorporate the prompts nicely. It written eloquently, but I don't think that the plot was developed enough. I feel like I did not learn as much about Lydia as I could have. I never really learned about her personality, we just knew that she was part swan. Good job, again! ~Alex :)