Immortal Siblings Vol. 1: The Bond

Immortal Siblings Vol. 1: The Bond

8 chapters / 64624 words

Approximately about 5 hours to read

Description:

(Cover image created by Ariana Collins.)Warning: This book often contains strong language, graphic violence and gore, and sexual themes. Please use your judgement on whether or not this book is appropriate material for you to read. Jackson and Elise are a brother sister pair with a twist; Jackson is a vampire and Elise is a lycan. Originally from Australia, they moved to the U.S. to be able to live alongside one another without persecution from covens and packs. With the help of Elise’s best friend Connie, who is a psychic, Jackson and Elise have been turning chronically ill patients with no other choice for the past five years. In this first installment of the Immortal Siblings series, Elise receives a daunting prophecy from Connie involving her participation, and possible demise, in a war between the vampires and lycans of Philadelphia. On top of all of this, Jackson comes to his sister and reveals reveals a secret to her that Elise cannot handle and he leaves her without a trace. When Connie then asks Elise to turn a young, dying man Elise finally feels like she has found some solace with him and from learning some tricks from the pack wolves. Everything seems to be going much better for a while until Connie’s premonition seems to come true and it is a race against time for Jackson to save his sister.

Genres:

Paranormal, Novel, Action

Comments(14)

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almost 5 years ago MM said:

Hi again Leona. Sorry for spelling your name wrong in the review!

Love

almost 5 years ago Alyssa Quinn said:

I honestly don't have much to criticize here other than, I think, one or two grammar mistakes and I think one tense shift. Other than that, you have a fantastic thing going here. I especially love the relationship between the siblings and I really liked Connie too, something about her just piqued my interest. Good work!

Econ 25

almost 5 years ago Dorothy said:

Wowzerz! When I saw the word 'Vampire' in the description, I was hooked. This is seriously EPIC and could one day be in book stores. Great job!

Suzzz

almost 5 years ago Suzanne said:

I read the beginning chapter and I think it's amazing. :) That's definitely a great star. I like the way your main character speaks and it's very strong. great job!

Reviews(11)

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almost 5 years ago MM said:

Hi Luna! This is for our Serious Ones novel swap. You do a great job at drawing the reader in and making them ask questions them making them wait and read more to get the answers! I loved the little intriguing details like why the MC moved from Australia, what kind of job her friend is talking about, what a deathbed situation could be, how her brother is covered every inch in clothes and so on. I truly couldn't find anything to edit in your intro, you clearly put a lot of time into it. So I'll just mention a couple of broader things. First, I don't really see how this is an introduction. I haven't read any YA novels with intros, so I don't know what they're supposed to be like, exactly, but this definitely sounds like a chapter one to me. Second, I would love to get to know the MC more. Hear more of her thoughts, feel more of her emotions, see what she sees. For example, the section where you say she loves her car. Does she stroke the dashboard when she gets in? Polish off the fingerprints on the rearview mirror? Inhale the scent of the interior leather and her floral air freshener? Just a couple of little extra details like this here and there would make the reader feel more connected to the MC.

Background

almost 5 years ago Avgerinos said:

Chapter 5-

This chapter I find is the best so far. I find that in this chapter you introduced the new character without causing any confusion with any other characters. There is also the balance of emotion and action. On the emotion side you had the effect of the new characters denial and the emotion of seeing a dying person. This was all very descriptive and explained very well. On the other side you had action. There was the driving, the transformation, the quick quarrel and many other minor actions.

All of these factors contribute to me thinking that this was best chapter so far. I didn't see any errors that stood out, the only exception was the confusion that how Elise's wolf form matches her hair and her eyes, but for the new character those details seem to disappear. (I am trying to be as friendly to the new readers as I can)

I can't wait to read more.

Avgerinos*