Born From Disaster

Born From Disaster

3 chapters / 4843 words

Approximately 24 minutes to read

Description:

Ashen was born from disaster, there was never any doubt about that. Cursed by her name, she lives as what is left after each ravaging disaster. She is locked within herself, confiding in no one except for Mel, her sister. Then she meets Alec, tied to his own secrets and short comings. When Alec is willing to open up and risk everything for Ashen, she is forced with a choice to live again, knowing disaster lurks.

Genres:

Drama, Romance, Novel

Comments(12)

V__3eec

about 4 years ago Jo said:

I loved it.

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over 5 years ago Olivia Parvin said:

Keep going! You must! Don't stop. I'm completely hooked.

Lilalilalila

over 6 years ago Lila said:

All I can say at this point is...keep editing because I want to know more!!!

Remake

over 6 years ago Emily Renae Cooper said:

Thank you everyone. I've been stuck on this, and you just convinced me to keep going.

Reviews(1)

Mad hatter

almost 7 years ago Ratcliff said:

I really love this, i have to admit a lot parts more than others. My favourite was ultimately the part where he turns around and says he doesnt have a cat. i thought that bit was cute, and smart and provocative, and thats coming from a nineteen year old guyIit was a real twister and you never saw it coming and in one sentence you open up so much.

The other bit i really liked was when she was describing her name and talking about pre-destiny that had a certain twang to it that i enjoyed, something that pulled me in and made me really get intruiged, i cant quite describe it.

But, there were a few bits that were quite...heavy, needlessly depressing, as if they just wanted the reader to feel bummed out, i can see where you're coming from, giving a little bit of her past, keeping it intruiging and trying to build an emotional connection with the audience. But it just comes across as teenage angst, and nothing more than the average teenagers problems, you need it to be different from that, it needs to read differently,you need to describe it more, give the audience more, and withhold even more. Little bits, memoirs about twisters or hurricanes, about mistrust and lack of confidence, but dont make it too heavy, put it into context, rather than just aimlessly throwing it at the reader, and it will appear and read so much better and it will make more sense and the audience will connect with this character. At the moment its not a memory, it just makes me, as a reader, feel awkward, its too intimate and too "oh god" for so soon in the book, be heavy hitting later on, not so soon.

I hope that makes sense.

Also there were a few typo's, a few grammatical errors, its worth looking into, but nothing to beat yourself up on, everyone does it. But its worth going through and checking it! Other than that great job, i definitely want to see where this is heading beacuse i adored the bit with the cat, and i love the setting and i do honestly want to find out what happened to Ash. Please dont do it in the form of flashbacks, this book is owed a lot more than an average, plain old flashback, think of something original. But keep at it! Well done.

If you thought this helped please check out my works, there arent many and there not long. Thankyou.