When Glory Comes

When Glory Comes

1 chapter / 1193 words

Approximately 6 minutes to read

Description:

A retelling of "Of Mice and Men".

  • 270
  • 19
  • 74
  • 35
  • 5
  • 129

Comments(174)

0127092232

almost 2 years ago Rave said:

Amazing story!

103e89058740ab281b16a05426ce729c

over 3 years ago Delilah Rose said:

I've never actually read Of Mice and Men because I didn't actually think it was a' good' book. I thought this was epic and I really want you to finish it right now! Now! NOW!

Imgres

about 4 years ago T'Ra Jones said:

I loved Of Mice and Men. And this story was really good too. The ending was sad.

Avatar-thumb

over 4 years ago Jane Austen said:

You're joking right? You cant leave this story ending like that. You must finish it. I liked it so much.

Reviews(45)

Img_3185

over 4 years ago lauren said:

good

Chrono14

over 4 years ago RJEK said:

My apologies on the belated reply. Life around here can be quite hectic. Now, there was only a chapter’s worth here, so I’m afraid this review will be a tad smaller than my usual ones.

The Story:

As you said this story has been influenced by Of Mice and Men. Having read this back in high school, I recognized elements of the story pretty quick. What appears to be going on in this opening chapter, is a young man named Jonathon has been helping another young man by the name of Andrew. Andrew appears to have some issues, and is perhaps a bit slower than the average person. Jonathon has taken it upon himself to be Andrew’s unofficial guardian, and is more or less at his beck and call. Jonathon’s girlfriend has grown sick of this, and they have a spat at the beginning of the chapter. Sadly, she loses this one, and they are separated.

I won’t ruin the rest of it for other readers, but suffice it to say, things take an interesting turn near the end of the chapter. Story wise, this has potential. It should prove interesting.

The Characters:

We really only see three major characters in this chapter. These are Jonathon, Andrew, and Jonathon’s girlfriend who’s name I can’t seem to remember. Jonathon seems to be a fairly decent person, since he’s been helping Andrew for some time now. Having said that, his response to his girlfriend’s concerns were… well… not so hot. I think this is why some readers may feel he’s a bit of a jerk. He’s also a bit rough tongued towards Andrew in this chapter, but that may be because of the falling out with his girl. But despite his choice of words, he still tries to do the right thing with his friend.

Andrew is modeled after the character in the original tale, who I think was named… Lenny? I can’t remember. Anyway, Andrew has a certain childlike way about him. While some of this can be charming, having the mind of a child in adulthood can be a problem. As a person, he’s no doubt a sweet guy. But, because he’s forever calling upon Jonathon, he’s a bit of a drain to him. But, the guy cares for his friend, and no doubt would be just as willing to be there for Jonathon as he is for Andrew.

Finally, we have the girlfriend. Now, we don’t see to much of her after the first page or two, but she’s in it long enough to say a thing or two. As best I can tell, she’s been in a relationship with Jonathon for a while. She’s aware of the situation between the two men, and she’s getting sick of it. It’s understandable, and with the way Jonathon reacted, it’s no wonder she walked away. But, I get the feeling she still cares for him, as she reappears at the end of the chapter. Sadly, I can’t really glean much else from the chapter about her.

It’s not fair to judge characters on one chapter alone. So, I feel that they are pretty good and hope that they will continue to be fleshed out as the story advances.

The Style:

The writing style is more modern compared to the original, which is pretty common and is perfectly fine. This seems to fit the story and the original tale it’s based on well. So I feel this works fine.

Technical Points:

Not seeing anything here worth mentioning. Spelling and grammar looks good, so there’s really nothing to complain about in my opinion. Good show on your part.

Final Thought:

I quite enjoyed the book when I read it in school many years ago, so this was a nice reminder of this classic work. This has the potential to do well. I can’t really say much more as there was only one chapter’s worth here. But it should shape up nicely if you keep up the quality of the work. Not sure where you’re taking this, but I’m confident you have a plan. Well done.

- Ryan