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Approximately 2 minutes to read
Dedicated to Stereotype Out. It's an amazing group with a message that everyone should heed! :D COVER BY STUCK IN A CUPCAKE. She's so good to me! :D
over 3 years ago Not Active said:
I absolutely adore this poem! The way you portrayed your emotion was very astounding! I'm very happy that I took the time to read this!
almost 5 years ago Ria said:
(Your messages are always great and different) I enjoyed reading this. It's very clear how she feels, yet it feels like we're uncovering more with every line. Beautiful.
almost 5 years ago Sophia♩♪♫♬ said:
I love the cover! I saw no spelling mistakes, just at the end when she said "your the guy who get steotyped" I was like WHAT!! Then I understood you. Very nice poem! I wish the world could read this. :)
almost 5 years ago annidani said:
I love this piece. You made the words flow so effortlessly, and I enjoyed the reality of this. It truly is one of the best poems I've seen on Figment. Amazing job. :)
about 4 years ago Samantha said:
Wow. Just wow. That's really good. There where some points that were a small bit unclear but then the story cleared up right away
almost 5 years ago Cedric David Panther said:
Such imagery! I like how her lover is the same as her.
Guess what? More stanza issues!
Connect "stereotyped" to the rest of the sentence.
Perhaps add "back" after "fight".
I noticed that you had these chopped off little words. Like "you know me" and "apparently". If you are going to do that, then bold then like you did with that one line. I liked the way you did that. If you repeat the same sequence, it'll give your poem more flow.
Connect "trying too hard" to "And I'm always". I really don't think that one should stand alone.
Also connect "fall, too."
I have some advice for you to help with stanza format. Try to keep the same rhythm in your head. Make bridges, verses, choruses, floaters, whatever. Just keep it in the same style. Like a song. That is what helps me to keep my stanzas in organized fashion. I hope that helps.
But, man, I can just see this story unraveling from my mind. I see the girl as doll, and everybody is playing with her and some of it is not very nicely. She's programmed to follow orders. She's a sheep. So she follows other sheep. She never really seems to question her moralities. It's like she's not interested in becoming a leader. She is too dependent on others. Which I thought was interesting. I don't normally see a static point of view when reading poem/stories about stereotypes. Another great job, ClockWork!