9 chapters / 26089 words

Approximately about 2 hours to read


**Rough draft novel, in progress** If your twin was dying, how far would you go to save her? Would you bridge dimensions? Challenge Death? Sell your soul? There is more than just one life at stake. **Cover by


Adventure, Fantasy, Novel



over 5 years ago Tempest Wild said:

Dang! This sounded like a real story, so much so i forgot i wasn't reading an actual book. This is really fantastic. I don't even have words. I am in awe. Wonderful job. If you could, would you read the beanstalk? (it is long though, so you can only read part if you want) Thanks!


over 5 years ago Melinda P. said:

Marvelous! You've captured all those emotions perfectly--despair, worry, grief. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this, and I hope you continue soon!


over 5 years ago Dimitri Khosrowpour said:

It is a very good book so far. I have read roughly 2/3rds of the first chapter and it is very very good. I promise to continue reading. So there was only one mistake I found. Before the girls had their sisterly moment in the house, there was a paragraph which was a little confusing to me. You say "we discussed it five minutes ago..." etc.. In this paragraph it seems as if you switched girls for a couple of sentences. If you have any questions about what I mean, let me know. Good job!


over 5 years ago Ninja Nourie said:

OMG, that was so awesome! I really like the twins, how they're not like stereotype twins are. Keep going!



over 5 years ago trustxbelieve said:

So sorry about being late on the review, I've been really busy this week :(

I only read the first chapter, but I really like it. It's incredibly well-written. The cliffhanger at the end was good, I'm wondering what's wrong with her sister. I didn't really notice any grammatical errors or spelling mistakes. I love how you described Juliet's friends, and you really showed how different Natalie is from her sister even though they're identical twins. I like how you showed that they have a strong bond without having to explain it, like how Juliet helps Natalie and how well they know each other. I'm looking forward to reading more of this :)


over 5 years ago Sako said:

It's interesting. I could definitely swing by to see progress on this work. I want to know what's going to swing around as we step into more of the fantasy side here.

First off: the other review is spot on. We don't need to see a typical day in the lives of Natalie and Juliet. Pick a moment - better, pick a moment that will show skills or knowledge they have to use later in the story. Show me THAT moment. Then move on. Maybe we have physics - discussions of other planes as a possibility - or even a philosophy course. Use the moments as an opportunity to foreshadow. Let Natalie ignore it.

The emotions were very raw in the second chapter - I liked it. Her reactions rang true. I liked the interaction with the boyfriend - it showed her emotions more than the other moments, I think.

I could say the part with Death felt a little dry. I expect you to come back and work on that after you have more meat of the story to work on. My best suggestion is to get everything you can written down so you have a story to work with. (Perhaps you do, saved up on your comp) Could be an interesting concept though.