Wish You Were Here

Wish You Were Here

1 chapter / 951 words

Approximately 5 minutes to read

Description:

I recently went to a beautiful park, and I just had to write a story based on it. I know it's not my usual work, and the story doesn't quite have a happy ending, but if you want me to finish it, let me know :) It's basically about a couple who were madly in love, and happy but soon he goes off to join the army and has to leave her. Enjoy :) (By the way, yes the cover is an actual picture of the park. It's not a very good picture, but I'll be sure to get a better one when I go back) :)

Comments(8)

Short hair sunset

over 4 years ago Nightingail said:

This is so beautiful! You're descriptions were lovely, and the story held my attention until the last word. I loved how you trasitioned from the girl watching herself in the past, to the reader realizing the girl she was watching was her. I could feel every emotion very clearly, as if it were my own. My only suggestion is that your last line didn't really make sense to me. Music wasn't really mentioned at all in the rest of the story, so your last line didn't really tie in the theme of the story, to me. That's just my thoughts on it, feel free to ignore me! :) Overall, this is really a work of art. I enjoyed every word. Beautiful job!

Tumblr_na149jv7mv1s01bo7o1_1280

over 5 years ago Laura Dirk said:

Oh My Gosh! That was amazing. I don't even know what to say. I loved every bit of it. It kept me pulled in the whole time.

53161-bigthumbnail

over 5 years ago Hailey Morgana Kendricks said:

Beautifully written and amazing detail. I can tell you put effort into this short story :)

Img_7026

over 5 years ago Kylie Wang said:

Beautifully written :) You took me through a whole range of emotions! The only thing I would suggest is breaking up some of your longer paragraphs because they can be daunting and intimidating for readers. This was lovely :)

Reviews(1)

Me

over 5 years ago Robert F said:

Great job. It's a nice story, full of heart. The only thing I thought was confusing was that I thought he had died, since she had the dogtags and that the scene of him giving them to her was just an image in her head, instead of her receiving them through the person who drives up to the door.