"An Evening Alone"

"An Evening Alone"

1 chapter / 154 words

Approximately less than a minute to read

Description:

A poem inspired more or less by "The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufock" by T. S. Eliot.

Comments(7)

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almost 3 years ago Ellie said:

i didn't quite understand it but the words flowed perfectly together

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about 4 years ago Ashley Sager said:

This is really nice, but like others have said, I can't tell what it's about. Also, you're last lines i almost every section are shorter than the rest. I think it kind of breaks the flow.

But otherwise, this is great!

~Ashley

Bird girl

about 4 years ago Etta said:

This was a very lovely poem, and very...evasive. I was trying to think of what it meant, and I came up with a few things. At first, I thought it was a diner, especially when you mentions the butts (of cigars) glowing, and something about the devil's spit/smoke. And also when it talked about drinking soup with a silver spoon, and playing that music from a special speaker and people talking in the background. Possibly a pub or a bar, from the ending when it mentioned talking about whatever payed more. Overall, I really enjoyed this, and it definitely made me wonder! Nice job! :D

A0wva20991

over 4 years ago Pixie Dust said:

This flowed very well! I was planning on giving a review, but It's very good and can't find much fault with it!

Reviews(3)

St. clare of assisi

about 4 years ago Clara Augustine said:

The images and descriptions you made are very lovely and rich, and I like the stanza about Brutus and Caesar. However, as I'm sure you've heard from everyone else, I have no idea what any of it means. The descriptions don't connect with each other to produce united or related concepts, and so the reader doesn't get an impression of anything.

I'm not a poet, although I am fond of good, metered poetry, so my advice probably isn't the best you could ask for. I guess my suggestion would be to make the descriptions and ideas connect to each other, and relate them to the idea you're trying to express.

Sam_11742

about 4 years ago Schuyler Sun said:

This is a great poem! Unfortunately, I have no idea what it means...but it definitely has a sad feeling to it and somehow makes me think of fireflies. I love your imagery and word choice, and I honestly don't see anything wrong except that "betryal" should be "betrayal." Otherwise, nice job, and I like how it was inspired by T. S. Elliot!