Tempted Virgin

Tempted Virgin

9 chapters / 3134 words

Approximately 16 minutes to read

Description:

WARNING: THIS IS SEXUAL. PLEASE DON'T READ IF YOU'RE UNDER THE AGE OF 14.
London Carney is a virgin, and didn't mind being the only one in high-school that hadn't had sex before. But when the pressure gets more and more tempting, will London give in, or will she do the right thing?

**STAY TUNED!!! (NOT FINISHED YET)**

Genres:

Writing, Romance, Comedy

Comments(14)

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almost 5 years ago TrippGalaxy said:

This felt too rushed and the characters' seemed very immature. I think the rushing of the story line causes them to come off as immature. I would suggest showing more of the characters' emotions.

Angel heart

over 5 years ago Krissy, With Love said:

I loved it, I had butterflies in my stomach just thinking about Beck but it truely is amazing, you must contiune it I really love it, it has true potential

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over 5 years ago Liv said:

Great story! Your characters are very well developed and I would love if you made each chapter just a big longer! Anyways I really hope you continue this(:

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over 5 years ago Mike Dowd said:

Good story, I dind;t see many errors:)

Reviews(5)

Grey wolf-eyes.

over 5 years ago J.Wolf said:

This is a good story with great potential. It felt a bit rushed to me and i think the chapters could be a bit longer. You have a few mistakes but other people have told you and once you have finished it you will have time to refine it.I think you could describe some of the scenes a bit better and slow it down a bit. Apart from that i like how you portray the characters especially london. You get a really good look at her personality by how you write the story and the tone that comes through it. :) Keep writing. J.Wolf

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over 5 years ago Haley Forte said:

Firstly, I must say that I feel that it was slightly rushed, and that may or may not be the whole point of what you were trying to get across (that one shouldn't rush too quickly into things). Of course you know about the few little lower-case "i" 's that should be capitalized (I'm a bit of a grammar Nazi). You do understand guys quite well, and it's sick that some of them actually conduct themselves this way. Unfortunately, this story isn't quite to my taste, but I do wish you the best in polishing it up!