Don't Count Me Out Yet

Don't Count Me Out Yet

1 chapter / 1190 words

Approximately 6 minutes to read

Description:

Violet Lampton, born and bred on the east coast moves to Westside L.A. with her mother to run away from her dark past.
If I can get one hundred "hearts" I will add more chapters!
Enjoy!

Genres:

Writing, Comedy, Romance

Comments(8)

Image

about 5 years ago abbey anne said:

I love this! Its very cute, and certainly made me smile. Great job:)

Cool4

over 5 years ago Katie ZaBAM said:

I love this story so much! Your writing style is amazing, it's like reading something from a published author. You write in such a fun way, and it's hard not to get sucked into the story. I especially love the last line, ha ha! This definitely should have made the list of finalists - it was one of the very few entries I actually enjoyed reading. XD But no matter, your story was very fun to read all the same! Great work, and keep on writing!

Annika and naomi nov 2013 1966

over 5 years ago annidani said:

~Swap for Falling Incorrectly~

This has a nice plot. Barely any grammar errors, which was good. Just remember to make a new paragraph when someone different is speaking.

The thing that bothered me the most was the setting. San Francisco is actually a pretty cold place most of the year, and you don't see blond girls in bikinis and daisy dukes roaming around the beach too much. It's a really diverse city, and even with Violet's dark hair and pink streaks I know she'd fit in. I know you're trying to go with the stereotypical California girl, but I just wanted to point that out.

Anyways, good luck in the contest! :)

~Annika

Annika and naomi nov 2013 1966

over 5 years ago annidani said:

~Swap for Falling Incorrectly~ This has a nice plot. Barely any grammar errors, which was good. Just remember to make a new paragraph when someone different is speaking. The thing that bothered me the most was the setting. San Francisco is actually a pretty cold place most of the year, and you don't see blond girls in bikinis and daisy dukes roaming around the beach too much. It's a really diverse city, and even with Violet's dark hair and pink streaks I know she'd fit in. I know you're trying to go with the stereotypical California girl, but I just wanted to point that out. Anyways, good luck in the contest! :) ~Annika

Reviews(1)

Me 1963

over 5 years ago Linda D said:

I love this girl’s sarcasm, she is complaining without whining. And she truly loves her mum, which is refreshing to see. A few things I noticed: Blonde – is how I always spelled it – I think - with my nemesis (spell check) always changing it according to his American spelling, I am not sure anymore which way it is spelled. Beach take-over Hyphen between take and over. And then a jeep (full of) daisy-duke…girls (because you have girl(s) in the plural. Beach-volleyball players - gives us more of an impression of what they are wearing – bikini type wear (and with the hyphen doesn’t change the word count). This is a very witty piece, and I love your tongue-in-cheek poke at the stereotypical California girl. Good luck in the contest, and I hope you do continue afterwards.